Angela Anaconda · Season 1
Not so fast smarty pants!
(huh)
I'm sorry Angela but I'm afraid you're grounded for the weekend.
Huh? For what?
For not telling the truth.
Grounded for the whole entire weekend completely?
Yep. Including Sunday.
And what about Monday?
It's back to school for you.
Yes. Thank you, thank you. It'll be goodbye boredom and hello eraser duty.
[Angela wants to trade for her Bug Thug] You want to trade me your sister?
Yeah, think about it. You could start your own orphanage.
It's bad enough with my own brothers and sisters. [walks off]
But wait! She hasn't been baptized yet. You could save her soul.
Um, do you have those things that clip papers?
Paper clips?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
Will she really be like my very own real sister which I have always wanted?
Angela, you already have a sister. Lulu Anaconda? Baby Lulu?
Oh her. Naw, she doesn't count. I mean a real sister, with hair!
Any questions?
Yes! What is that?
That is a spitball. Le ball de spit.
(Church Organ) Blessed are those who ensure the cleanliness of our neighborhoods. And since cleanliness is next to Godliness, can I have a ride?
My mom is boycotting perfume on the principle that it exploits finite resources.
(chuckles) I wish she'd exploit my finite resources. Eh? Know what I mean?
(Angela and Gina stare back blankly)
Eh, guess I'll just use it to impress some other babe.
I'm no lady, I'm Mrs. Brinks!
Johnny Abatti, what are your five most favorite things that you love to do in school?
Well, sometimes when I'm taking a bath, I--
I said, "in school."
Oh. Then I'd say shooting spitballs, sticking gum under the desks, snorkeling milk, little nosepicking, and I throw food, whenever I get the chance.
Perfect. Now all we have to do tomorrow is not do any of those things.
What are we supposed to do all day?
Concentrate on getting Mrs. Brinks that job. Tomorrow we have got to prove how good we are and what a wonderful teacher Mrs. Brinks is, so she can go be a wonderful teacher someplace else.
YOU! YOUNG MAN! TO THE CORNER!
It wasn't me, Mrs. Brinks. Just look at the fault on those airplanes. Mine would've been much crisper.
Look no further than Bruiser, Cheeky, and Grunt! The evidence is right on their desks.
It couldn't be! They must have been making geometrical shapes since studying aero-dynamics for the math lesson.
The fault. The fault!
Oh, no. Mrs. Brinks is so confused, on account of us acting good, and Nanette acting bad, it is making her act terrible.
Pardon me, please, Dr. Fanny. But you have to give Mrs. Brinks the job. Things are all mixed up today. Normally, :we are the bad ones, and Nanette-- I mean Bruiser is good. Everything good we did today, we learned from Nanette, who learned from Mrs. Brinks's w-- W-- (slap) Wonderful teaching.
Mrs. Brinks, the thought that this you're most charmed and fine student would pretend to actually be ill-mannered for her teacher's sake, I must say is terribly rude.
But she's not pretending, she--
Not another charmless from you, you riff raff! Riff raff? Mrs. Brinks, I'm afraid I've been terribly unfair. One of the first principals of charm is keeping one's promise. And I promised to judge you on your finest student. And not on the riff raff: Bruisers Cheekies, and Grunts. There it is. The Angelic smile of a well-taught student. I'd be thrilled if you could cultivate that smile on the students of my school, Mrs. Brinks. Use that contract. We would be honored to have you.
Dr. Danny Fanny said it. Today has been a most enlightening day. We learned that Mrs. Brinks and I had the exact same most cherished dream, that she leaves.
(screams)
Yay!
So now I am in charge. And lucky for me and everyone I'm in charge of, I found us a teacher who has an excellent curriculum. Professor Abatti will teach us everything we need to know about...
Shooting spitballs, sticking gum under desks, snorkeling milk, a little nose picking, and of course, throwing food.
Help me! Help me! Oh, Angela, the precious, it was so perfectly good you made Mrs. Brinks leave forever and never come back!
You will cry.
Find me a teacher with better taste.
Your wish is my command, Ninnypoo. Our new teacher, Mr. Tasty Twirl.
(panting) NOOOOOOOO!
And the first subject he will teach is "Ice Cream 1-0-1. Our homework will be delicious.
Eeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!
What now, Ice Cream Ninday? You don't like Mr. Tasty Twirl either? They will get a new teacher.
Aaaah!
Astronaut Bob. And he will take us on a fabulous field trip to mars. Aaah! We've been spotted by the enemy! Quick, Professor Astronaut Bob, Hyperspace! But first I guess we'll have to dump out the access garbage, not much of a waste, if you ask me. (laughs)
(using his Mr. Ducksworthy sock puppet)
And now watch as I eat a cracker while Johnny-boy continues to talk. (Inserts a cracker into Mr. Ducksworthy's mouth and makes it look like it's eating) I am talking while he's eating a cracker. (Laughs) A cracker.
(singing) "Zut alors!" is the French word for, "being gauche is such a bore!" (It actually means, "Darn!")
Who would ever want Ninny-Wart for a model?
Especially when there are (Angela and Gina strike a pose) classic shapes like ours to chose from?
(Angela and Gina giggle).
Vanity thy name must definitely be Nanette-ty, all this practicing to be the perfect model has made you more bent over than usual!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angela Anaconda pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
