Johnny Abatti quotes from Angela Anaconda

Johnny Abatti

And now watch as I eat a cracker while Johnny-boy continues to talk. (Inserts a cracker into Mr. Ducksworthy's mouth and makes it look like it's eating) I am talking while he's eating a cracker. (Laughs) A cracker.

Johnny Abatti, what are your five most favorite things that you love to do in school?

Johnny

Well, sometimes when I'm taking a bath, I--

I said, "in school."

Johnny

Oh. Then I'd say shooting spitballs, sticking gum under the desks, snorkeling milk, little nosepicking, and I throw food, whenever I get the chance.

Perfect. Now all we have to do tomorrow is not do any of those things.

Johnny

What are we supposed to do all day?

Concentrate on getting Mrs. Brinks that job. Tomorrow we have got to prove how good we are and what a wonderful teacher Mrs. Brinks is, so she can go be a wonderful teacher someplace else.

Pardon me, please, Dr. Fanny. But you have to give Mrs. Brinks the job. Things are all mixed up today. Normally, :we are the bad ones, and Nanette-- I mean Bruiser is good. Everything good we did today, we learned from Nanette, who learned from Mrs. Brinks's w-- W-- (slap) Wonderful teaching.

Mrs. Brinks, the thought that this you're most charmed and fine student would pretend to actually be ill-mannered for her teacher's sake, I must say is terribly rude.

But she's not pretending, she--

Not another charmless from you, you riff raff! Riff raff? Mrs. Brinks, I'm afraid I've been terribly unfair. One of the first principals of charm is keeping one's promise. And I promised to judge you on your finest student. And not on the riff raff: Bruisers Cheekies, and Grunts. There it is. The Angelic smile of a well-taught student. I'd be thrilled if you could cultivate that smile on the students of my school, Mrs. Brinks. Use that contract. We would be honored to have you.

Dr. Danny Fanny said it. Today has been a most enlightening day. We learned that Mrs. Brinks and I had the exact same most cherished dream, that she leaves.

Mrs. Brinks

(screams)

Yay!

So now I am in charge. And lucky for me and everyone I'm in charge of, I found us a teacher who has an excellent curriculum. Professor Abatti will teach us everything we need to know about...

Johnny

Shooting spitballs, sticking gum under desks, snorkeling milk, a little nose picking, and of course, throwing food.

Help me! Help me! Oh, Angela, the precious, it was so perfectly good you made Mrs. Brinks leave forever and never come back!

You will cry.

Find me a teacher with better taste.

Your wish is my command, Ninnypoo. Our new teacher, Mr. Tasty Twirl.

Gina

(panting) NOOOOOOOO!

And the first subject he will teach is "Ice Cream 1-0-1. Our homework will be delicious.

Eeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!

What now, Ice Cream Ninday? You don't like Mr. Tasty Twirl either? They will get a new teacher.

Aaaah!

Astronaut Bob. And he will take us on a fabulous field trip to mars. Aaah! We've been spotted by the enemy! Quick, Professor Astronaut Bob, Hyperspace! But first I guess we'll have to dump out the access garbage, not much of a waste, if you ask me. (laughs)

Johnny Abatti

Hey, I know what'll keep her quiet. Uncle Nicky, sing that lullaby you used to sing to me.

(sings) Hush little Johnny, it's a quarter to six. Let Uncle Nicky go pick up hot chicks.