Alias · Season 1
You've never gotten a D.
I've gotten a D!
When?
High school Home-Ec. Remember that --
Yeah. What did you do? Embroidered something on a t-shirt.
Sweatshirt. That was the assignment.
It was obscene, right? About the teacher.
He was a sexist pig. I deserved a scholarship for that. This time I deserve a D.
Who are you working for? I'll not ask you again.
Okay. Get a pen. Write this down. E M E T I B. You got that?
Yes.
Okay. Now reverse it.
[Suit & Glasses rewrites, frowns, stares back at Sydney]
I've got bad news for you, man. I'm your worst enemy. I've got nothing to lose.
That's not exactly true. You have teeth. Okay. Let's try one more time. Who do you work for?
[Sydney doesn't respond. Interrogator shoves some pliers into her mouth.]
Augh... Augh..
[Interrogator removes pliers, listens for what she has to say.]
I just want to say... start with the teeth in the back. If you don't mind.
I'm calling because I'm planning on asking Sydney to marry me and... I was hoping to get your approval.
Danny, let me ask you a question.
Sure.
How well do you know my daughter?
Um, we've been dating for two years...
Because if you feel the need to ask me about this scenario, I have a sense you don't know Sydney at all.
Sir, I love your daughter and I want to marry her. That's why I'm calling.
First of all, Danny, the truth is this is just a courtesy call. Like when you say to your neighbor, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's all right with you." What you really mean is, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night."
Mr. Bristow,...
Sydney doesn't give a damn what my opinion is. What interests me is that you do.
It's just a custom to call the father, that's all this is...
Well, then, I'll tell you what. I may become your father-in-law, that's just fine. But I will not be used as part of a charming little anecdote you tell your friends at cocktail parties so they can see what a quaint, old-fashioned guy Danny really is. Are we clear?
Yes, sir...
Good. Then welcome to the family.
[After Danny has been murdered] What did you do?
I might ask you the same question. Security section became aware of the breach and performed their function. You're familiar with the codes of conduct, Agent Bristow. You knew these codes apply to you, even if you put to risk the lives of every man and woman working in the agency.
Danny wasn't a risk... he was... he was just a man. He was... he was a doctor, he was just...
You listen to me. Information about this agency must be treated like a virus. There is only one response to a virus, and that response is containment. You put us in a compromised situation, and even though I despise the countermeasure, we have...
Stop saying "we." Stop talking about the agency. You killed the man I love!
No, Agent Bristow. You did.
They're reviewing your statement. You wrote a lot.
I know.
I mean, it's like Tolstoy long. Devlin says it could take weeks to verify. But I know we could use another double agent in SD-6, so we'll be in contact. I'm going to get you a ride out of here, keep you concealed. Why are you shaking your head?
Because you said another.
So?
So if you really had one already you most likely wouldn't tell me until I was authenticated.
Unless I had an instinct about you.
My bet is you don't...have another double.
We might.
But you want me to believe that you do, so that on the off chance that I'm actually looking to be a triple agent I'll report back that there's an existing mole to upset the balance of my agency.
I'm not trying to play you.
Yeah, we'll see.
You said you wanted to talk about the plan. I'm giving you the plan.
It's not your job to give me the plan. I'm giving you the plan. Tomorrow's your first day back at SD-6. Now, nothing should change. When you get your assignment, you'll detail your mission on a paper bag. [picks one up, showing her] Bag. Then you'll call this number. Memorize it. After three tones, press the appropriate digit -- one through six. Each corresponds to a trash can in a specific location. Now we'll review your information, create a countermission, and we'll contact you posing as a wrong number: Joey's Pizza. Any questions so far?
Yeah. Can you show me what a bag looks like again?
Since I've known the truth about you, I've asked myself questions. Thousands of questions. But this one I have to ask you now. When Danny was killed... Dad... did you know? Did you know that's what they were going to do?
Yes. [Sydney slaps him]
Don't you ever speak to me again.
Your girlfriend's name is Alice.
Would you shut up.
Hey, just checking.
Get out of my office.
Balls of steel. That's what I'm going to call you from now on. Hey, have you met Balls of Steel?
We've got a red wire, a yellow, a blue, a blue-white, there's a white wire, a yellow-red, an orange-red, a black, a white-black, an orange, a purple, a purple-white, a green, a green-white, a red-white, a light-blue --
[On the phone] Okay, a blue-white wire.
Okay, cutting the blue-white wire! Okay!
Oh, hold the phone!
DON'T TELL ME TO HOLD THE PHONE! I'M SITTING ON A TICKING NUCLEAR BOMB!
I don't want it to be like that anymore, I'm just sick of it. I mean, I always had this feeling that maybe someday, I don't know, my dad and I would connect. That things could start to get better.
Well, you know my opinion of your dad.
I know.
But listen. If you can find it in your heart to forgive him for being the kind of guy he's been all your life, which I would find impossible and could never do, then you should make a real effort.
Hi, um, I don't know if I'm talking to the right person, but I need to borrow a million bucks. The Olsen twins went public, and I'm looking to invest.
You'll need some collateral. I don't think you've got any.
Well, have you seen my aqua blue Chevy?
You mean, with the hula girl on the dash? Yes, sadly, we've seen that.
Are you insane? Calling me in here for a social event? SD-6 has a division whose sole responsibility it is to track their agents and report back suspect activity. "Your girl" is risking her life, and you yours, every time we lay eyes on each other. So, do me a favor: don't be so friendly.
I-I just love your spirit.
That's heartening. Are we done here?
...
I hate to pull rank, but time is a factor here.
Time is a factor here. You know how much time? Seven years. That's how long I worked for SD-6 before I found out who they really are. And now that I know, my days of blindly following orders are over.
Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
I know exactly who I'm talking to. Tell Devlin if Agent Vaughn isn't on the other end of this earpiece when I turn it on, the C.I.A. gets nothing.
Vaughn is a junior officer.
Then promote him.
[to Sydney] I heard about your fiancé. Very sad. I thought perhaps it was a security execution sanctioned by your employers. Maybe you said something in your sleep you shouldn't have. But then why would you be here in service for the men that killed your true love?
Marshall couldn't open the lock box.
Uh, in my defense, it was rigged with a brand-new tech, an internal device that will destroy anything inside if opened without the key --
Marshall, would you please go back to work?
Just to clarify, I'm not being fired?
'Back to work' means not fired.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Alias pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
