Eric quotes from 7th Heaven

Eric

I noticed your name is not on Ruthie's petition?

Robbie

No, I don't put my name on anything like that. I'm not even registered to vote.

Eric

That's criminal.

Robbie

In America?

Eric

In this house! Register to vote, today!

Robbie

It's not voting season.

Eric

Do you like living here?

Robbie

Yeah, I love living here. I just don't want to register to vote. I feel like it puts me on some government's list.

Eric

You are! You are on the governments list of registered voters.

Eric

Engaged?

Lucy

Yes. I'm engaged. Jeremy and I are in love and we're gonna get married.

Eric

This isn't like you. You've smart. You're levelheaded.

Lucy

I am smart and levelheaded, so can't you trust that I'm making the right choice with my life? You and Mom weren't much older than I am when you got engaged and look how you guys turned out. And you didn't have a scholarship or any money when you moved back East. Everything I want to do is possible, and you know that. And that's what's killing you because you know I will make this work with Jeremy and you don't want me to. You want me to stay here at home until you're ready for me to leave. I'm sorry, but I'm ready to leave now. I love you and Mom, but I love Jeremy too.

Mary

We want you to find us boyfriends.

Lucy

Husbands, even.

Eric

I beg your pardon?

Lucy

We want you and Mom to find us someone to love. We want to get married...eventually.

Eric

Marriage is a bond made by two people who share a very deep and personal connection. For the two of you to ask me to choose someone with whom I think you could share that connection is...well, that's...nuts. I'm not a dating service. I'm your father and a minister.

Mary

Scared?

Eric

No, I'm not scared. I just... I think it's not up to me to stir you to the right person. It's up to God. When the time's right, the right guy will come along, for the both of you. You just have to be patient.

Lucy

(to Mary) Yep, he's scared.

Eric

You left home. You went to New York. You moved in with Jeremy and his family and without warning, boom, you were back on our doorstep. We'd like to know what happened.

Lucy

You know, it was a bad goodbye, a long terrible flight and I don't feel like talking about it.

Eric

What do you mean by "bad goodbye?"

Lucy

I am 18! I am an adult, I don't feel like talking about it!

Lucy

I don't feel like having dinner with everyone. I really don't feel like being around people, so I'm just gonna go pick up something. Is that a problem?

Eric

You know, I pulled a lot of strings to get you into Cobell Seminary. Are you planning on going back to New York and to Cobell?

Lucy

Isn't it enough that I'm not getting married? Do you want me to tell you I'm not going to college in New York? Is that what you want, more bad news? Okay, fine, I'm not going to Cobell! Are you happy? [storms out in tears]

Matt

Well, it looks like not only is Lucy back, she's crying just the good old days. Some things never change, huh?

Eric

What are you doing home?

Matt

Well, didn't Mom tell you? I got laid off.

Matt

Dad, I haven't been out of work for 48 hours.

Eric

You can't afford to be out of work for 48 hours much less 72 hours or any amount of hours.

Eric

What's new?

Ruthie

Nothing really. I'm just a couple of years away from puberty. I'm pre-puberty, prepubescent, they call it. So, I'm going to be going through some changes.

Eric

Yes you are. And I hope you know that whatever changes you're experiencing, that you can talk to me about them. Changes can be very exciting. Changes can be scary. And sometimes we have very little control over the changes we experience. None, really. Except the way we react to those changes and controlling our reactions require a lot of conscious effort. So, we don't want to get too stressed out. We just have to stand back, observe what's going on, go with the flow, live life from moment to moment, doing the best we can do for who we are.

Ruthie

That's deep. Are we talking about you or me?

Eric

Everything pretty much. Do you have any questions?

Ruthie

Maybe later.

Annie

I'm sorry. I just can't be there for you right now. I went to the doctor last week... and...

Eric

We're pregnant again, aren't we? Are we?

Annie

Eric, how could you think that?

Eric

Well, you're tired, you're hungry, you're eating weird.

Annie

So, we're not pregnant! I'm starting to go through the change of life. I'm starting to get hot flashes. I can't sleep at night. And...

Eric

Menopause?

Annie

Well, technically I'm in peri-menopause.

Eric

Well, that's great. Thank you Jesus! Tell me what you're thinking? It's okay. I'm here for you. We're in this together.

Annie

I'll tell you what I'm thinking. First of all, we're not in this one together. I'm in this alone. As much as this is about me, my body, my mind...and spirit, I need to be by myself more, uh, whether that's in he kitchen or the bedroom. So, secondly, I may not want to be as intimate as frequently as we have been in the past. And I don't want to be pressured.

Eric

Have I ever pressured you to be intimate?

Annie

You said you missed me the other night, that was pressure.

Annie

I don't know what's going on with me.

Eric

Annie, you're going be fine. Everything is going to be okay.

Annie

You don't know that. All we know is that everything is going to CHANGE!

Eric

[to himself] Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Eric

You know this isn't a conversation I want to have with my son who is six weeks away from getting his learner's permit.

Simon

Four weeks.

Eric

Six.

Simon

But you said four.

Eric

Now I say six.

Simon

But the law says I could have gotten it six months ago.

Eric

Yeah, but I'm the law here in this house, six weeks?

Simon

But the law is the law outside of this house, and that law, the law that every other teenager relies on as protection from overbearing parents says otherwise.

Eric

And yet it's going to be six weeks, and if your attitude doesn't change its going to be seven, eight or nine weeks depending on when you recognize that driving is a privilege.

Simon

Yes, driving is a privilege. It's a privilege that comes at 15 and is granted by the DMV.

Eric

Let me ask you something, Do you live at the DMV? Do you eat at the DMV? Did the DMV buy you those sneakers that are in your closet that you never wear? And one more thing, is the DMV buying you dinner?

Annie

Robbie has offered to pay $200 a month, but he wants a 3-year lease so he can stay here until he finishes college.

Eric

Three years? I mean... is he sure he wants to stay here for three years? Three years is a long time.

Annie

It's $7,200.

Eric

It'll go by like that.

Annie

Matt will probably go away next year to medical school, and Lucy, being Lucy, could end up back in New York, and Simon's probably gonna go away to college. So why shouldn't we rent the room to Robbie when it's finished?

Eric

Why not? It's $7,200 and James is busy.

Annie

Of course, if Mary ever came back.

Eric

I don't think Mary is coming back.

Annie

I want her to come back.

Eric

I want her to come back, too when she's ready.

Annie

The point is that you...you...you don't understand what I'm going through. And I wasn't supposed to go through it for a long, long time.

Eric

Me too.

Annie

What?!

Eric

I'm trying my best. I am--but I just seem totally unprepared to deal with this stage of your life. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I'm completely lost. And you, my dear, are completely....

Annie

Nuts!? Is that what you were going to say? Because the problem is not that I'm nuts. You want to know what the problem is? More specifically, do you want to know what your problem is? Your problem is that you feel sorry for yourself and and the person you should be feeling sorry for is me. Yes, I am a nut! I'm the one who let that guy in here. I'm the one who had to deal with him until the ambulance got here. I'm the one who had to go to the hospital and deal with him because you didn't. And then I'm the one who got hauled off by security. So, if you want to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for me!

Eric

[to himself about Annie] Why don't you just take your hormones and go drive someone else crazy besides me?

Annie

I heard that!

Eric

I think you're more you than you have been for a long time.

Annie

What?

Eric

So, I...I just find it funny that I'm having so much trouble adjusting because we're both just adjusting to you being you.

Annie

What?

Eric

The first year that I knew you, you were just like this. You in no uncertain terms told people of what you thought and that was one of the things that attracted me to you, that and the fact that there was never any predicting when you were going to tell someone what you thought. I remember you let my dad tell you like twenty seven times how to put a diaper on Matt before you told off the The Colonel like, like I'd wanted to tell off The Colonel my entire life.

Annie

What are you saying, I've always been a nut?

Eric

Pretty much. But you've mellowed over the years. And now you're back without warning and it's a beautiful thing. I love you. I've always loved you. And I'm always gonna love you, till death do us part. Even if it kills me.

Annie

You know, you think you are so smart. I liked you better when you were feeling sorry for yourself.