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S1 E15

2 Broke Girls · Season 1, Episode 15

Max and Caroline in “Unfinished Business”

Look, I am not a pastry school graduate. I'm not even a high school graduate. The only thing I graduated from was a scared straight program, which is why I'm not gay anymore.

Max, you really didn't graduate? I always thought you were kidding about dropping out of high school, like when you say that Howard Stern is your dad.

'Cause he is! Look at our eyes. And I did drop out. I was like, "Later, suckas! I'll find a water fountain somewhere else."

Water fountains? Gross. In private school, we never bent down to put our mouths on something unless it had a yacht.

I didn't need a piece of paper from high school, and I don't need this fake piece of paper, because I don't fake things. Except orgasms with guys who don't know how to yank hair good.

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