Top Gear quotes
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Jeremy: Isn't the Isle of Man just amazing?
Richard: It's fabulous! It's like someone's gone out and designed Top Gear Fantasy Island specially for us!
James: Oh, if the Isle of Man was this great, I'd be absolutely blown away by the Isle of Woman.
Richard: Yes, the kippers were good --
Jeremy: Yes, but there's no speed limits here, James! "Ooh I know, but the kippers!"
James: I'd rather the pussy cat than the kipper.
Richard: They were good, though!
Richard: It's fabulous! It's like someone's gone out and designed Top Gear Fantasy Island specially for us!
James: Oh, if the Isle of Man was this great, I'd be absolutely blown away by the Isle of Woman.
Richard: Yes, the kippers were good --
Jeremy: Yes, but there's no speed limits here, James! "Ooh I know, but the kippers!"
James: I'd rather the pussy cat than the kipper.
Richard: They were good, though!
Jeremy: It's the Enemy of the State Award, the person who's done the most to harm the cause of the petrolhead these last 12 months. Gentlemen, the nominations.
Richard: The Chief Constable of North Wales, Richard Brunstrom, for his resolutely unpopular anti-motorist stance.
James: There are no more nominations.
Richard: The Chief Constable of North Wales, Richard Brunstrom, for his resolutely unpopular anti-motorist stance.
James: There are no more nominations.
Jeremy: Nought to 60 takes 7.2 seconds. There are animals which are faster than that.
Jeremy: Now most modern off-road cars, like for instance the BMW X5, would get stuck on a croquet lawn.
Jeremy: Now what I'd like to do at this point to demonstrate the difference between car and plane even more is bolt the Stig into the Saab here and have him race a fighter jet round our track. [laughing] Only trouble is, can you imagine ringing up the Royal Navy and saying, "Hello, I'm from that pokey motoring programme on BBC, would it be possible to borrow one of your Sea Harriers?" You can imagine what the response would be.
[cut to a shot of a Sea Harrier taxiing into position next to the Stig-driven Saab at the start/finish line of the test track]
Jeremy: [voiceover] Yes, they were there in a jiffy.
[cut to a shot of a Sea Harrier taxiing into position next to the Stig-driven Saab at the start/finish line of the test track]
Jeremy: [voiceover] Yes, they were there in a jiffy.
Jeremy: Of course, ever since the 2CV, Citroën has been the badge of choice for those of a Guardian disposition.
Jeremy: Oh, this is terrific! Just imagine how good it would be if you could get third.
Jeremy: So, with the very greatness of Britain resting on his shoulders, the Stig is away.
Jeremy: So. It looks like a dog doing a poo; it's slow, uncomfortable, expensive, and cursed with a cramped, badly trimmed interior, an awful gearbox and no back seats. The engine doesn't make a particularly sporty noise, the ride is terrible, and it isn't especially economical.
Jeremy: Some of the laws they have are fabulous! Handguns, for instance, are legal there! And you can be charged with "furious driving"! I'd love to have that on my licence!
Jeremy: That is German music! The treacherous Stig's listening to Beethoven! Although he probably knows it simply as the tune from the IBM ad.
Jeremy: The Germans always aim high. Stalingrad by Christmas and the world by Easter, and then we'll sort out Rover.
Jeremy: The guy who was running Mazda when they were designing the RX-8 used to race cars. [laughs] And it kind of shows.