God! What is it about Joe FUCKING Goldberg? Why is it that no one can see him for what he is?
FForty
Careful. You're talking about my family.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You act all pure and noble, like you have reasons for what you do when you do it. But when I do it, I'm crazy, right? I'm some manic nutjob. "But, oh, wait! Oh, wait! She's a mom now, I guess I can't slit her throat." He... is the only reason I'm alive. How do you think that makes me feel? I can't trust you.
I can't trust you either! I was trying to... Yes, yes. Yes, I did things. But I've worked hard to be better and I am not that person anymore. But now, I will be burying bodies until I'm 70 years old! Because if I'm not 100% into you all of the time, you will keep killing people!
If I'm not enough for you, you'll kill me.
Masturbation saves the day for now.
[Love is about to kill Joe, but he stabs her with a syringe. Love screams, and Joe injects the liquid into her]
[internally] Aconite, when injected directly, burns as it moves through the system to the heart. Think less slow paralysis, more total fսcking agony. I'm sorry it had to come to this.
Did you really think that I wouldn't start to wonder... what you were growing in the garden? Wolf's-bane. A paralytic.
It slows the heart. So I Googled antidotes. Turns out, I needed biohacking. Adrenaline. And who doesn't have that around here, right? A little voice in my head told me to take it. Before you played your hand.
Joe...
You did this to yourself. And the hardest part was making the dose, because I couldn't lie to myself. It had to be enough. I had to finally stop you.
[dying] We're perfect for each other. But bad... for Henry. He'll know what you are.
[Joe, pretending to be Love, writes an email to the residents of Madre Linda. Love's voice narrates it.]
Friends and neighbors... I'd like to thank you for welcoming my family with open arms, but... you didn't. I moved to the suburbs because I bought into the dream. Community, prosperity, and most of all, safety. But I never felt safe here. Judged from day one, for my past, my body, how I was raising my child. If I wasn't perfect, I would lose it all. A game so rigged, it could only exist in a world that hates women, especially mothers. But what choice did I have? So I played. And I realized your fence, your doorbell cam, you tell yourself you're keeping your family safe, but it's a lie. You're too afraid to do what you need to do to really protect your own. I am not a coward. I do what must be done to protect my family. I killed the adulterer next door. I framed the anti-vaxxer who sickened my child, hunted down the reporter who threatened us. I trapped the couple who tried to sabotage us. Forced them to really see each other. I forced my husband to play along. But in the end, he was a coward too. And when I realized he had grown to hate me, I killed him. Better than a messy divorce. Everybody keeps their dignity. When the shock wears off... and you feel safe jogging in your expensive athleisure again...
LJLove and Joe
...remember, you can get off the hamster wheel at any time.
[Joe sends the email]
You just have to be willing to burn it to the ground.
[group on the other side of the room laugh]
What could possibly be that funny? [sits next to Joe]
[internally] Rhys Montrose. What's he doing here?
Good book.
[internally] Oh, no. I sound drunk.
So you're the new one. Mal unfailingly adopts you lads, back since the dormitory at...
[internally] Oxford, right. They were all there together. The book is about how he was born into poverty, raised by an unstable single mom, uncomfortably relatable, and he was a mess, then found out he's the son of a duke, cleaned up, went to Oxford, and became the author of honestly one of the best memoirs I've ever read.
Quite a thing, that. Tell no one your sordid life story for 30 years, then write it down, suddenly millions know your every shame.
For what it's worth, I didn't find your book sordid.
Fellow man with a shit childhood, then?
[Joe looks away]
I see. A true shit childhood. Pleasure to meet you, brother in arms. The thing about getting money when you had none, you never really feel you have it. And all the people who always did...
Another species.
Exactly.
[internally] I actually don't hate him, yet.
They're dancing while the world burns. Barely notice it's even burning. Why would they? Their weather's just right.
[there's a knock on the door]
[internally] I knew you'd bite. [sets his phone to record audio]
[Joe opens the door for Rhys, who walks in]
All right, spill. What does Lockwood claim he knows?
What do you think he knows?
Aah... Don't be coy.
[internally] Watch me.
Is it about the book? Who hasn't taken liberties with their own story? It's called writing.
That's what you're most afraid of people finding out?
[sniffs]
What?
[sniffs louder] You smell that? Smells like a fucking rat.
[internally] Shit.
[Rhys grabs Joe's phone from his pocket]
You think I'm a FUCKING idiot? Hmm?
[Rhys stops the recording and discards the phone]
When are you gonna understand? I'm smarter than you.
[Rhys shows Joe Marienne's passport]
Look familiar? Yes, Joe. I found your old lover. She's a feisty one.
[voice shaking] How?
Repeat after me. I'm smarter than you.
Is she dead?
How would that be smart? No one even knows she's gone. I texted her babysitter friend from her phone. "Oops, I tripped and fell on a heroin needle, please look after my daughter." Whatever her fuckin name is.
[Joe pushes Rhys]
Her name is Juliette and she needs her mother!
Ooh, easy. I'd stay right there mate. Driver's outside, campaign staff know my whereabouts. Let's, let's keep it civil, shall we?
Where is she?
She's tucked away. Kill Lockwood, and I'll release her immediately, however, if Lockwood isn't dead in 24 hours, I'll send you Marienne Bellamy's teeth in a fuckin fruit basket.
[Joe is torturing Rhys to make him reveal Marienne's whereabouts. Rhys claims ignorance]
Stop gaslighting me! You know who I am. You know what you've had me do for YOU! I'd let her go. I'd stepped away! I WAS STARTING OVER! [starts choking Rhys] Where is she? TELL ME WHERE SHE IS! TELL ME OR I'LL KILL YOU! YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH! TELL ME!!!
[Rhys' body goes limp]
[internally] What did I do? It was an accident. I... I lost it. Marienne, I'm so sorry. I will find a way. I will find you.
[another Rhys walks up to Joe from behind]
Well, isn't this a pickle. [inspects the body of dead Rhys]
Uhh... uhh.. okay. I'm hallucinating. I...
Killed me? Yes. But not before a shocking amount of military-grade ball torture. He wasn't lying, Joe. He didn't know you. But then, I wasn't lying either. We really do have Marienne in a cage.
You are full-fat, extra-sugar, deep-friend fucking insane, Joe Goldberg.
Fuck you!
Whoa! I'm not the enemy here! I'm just the part that broke away to do the dirty work! You're brilliant. Really. Well, you poured all that darkness you hated into this vessel you admired because you knew that the endgame was facing yourself, didn't you? Well, there you go. All the worst bits in a little package you don't mind having a pint with. I hope it makes it easier.
Nothing makes this easier.
Pity me, all the time I had to spend trying to get you to admit that I was doing exactly what you wanted!
Okay, I might be having some kind of break, but you don't get to tell me who I am. I am not some cold-blooded psycho.
Oh, no, no, no! Of course not! It's obviously much more complex than that, but I had to compensate for your redemption fetish; it went into overdrive. See, you were trying to tell yourself that you were saving them, right? A reformed man who's protecting all these inbred meat-suits from some shadow killer. You. But deep down... The idea of any of them being worth saving was bullshit.
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