Hacker and Sir Humphrey in “The Devil You Know”

Hacker

Europe is a community of nations, dedicated towards one goal.

Sir Humphrey

[laughs moderately]

Hacker

May we share the joke, Humphrey?

Sir Humphrey

Oh Minister, let's look at this objectively. It is a game played for national interests, and always was. Why do you suppose we went into it?

Hacker

To strengthen the brotherhood of free Western nations.

Sir Humphrey

Oh really. We went in to screw the French by splitting them off from the Germans.

Hacker

So why did the French go into it, then?

Sir Humphrey

Well, to protect their inefficient farmers from commercial competition.

Hacker

That certainly doesn't apply to the Germans.

Sir Humphrey

No, no. They went in to cleanse themselves of genocide and apply for readmission to the human race.

Hacker

I never heard such appalling cynicism! At least the small nations didn't go into it for selfish reasons.

Sir Humphrey

Oh really? Luxembourg is in it for the perks; the capital of the EEC, all that foreign money pouring in.

Hacker

Very sensible central location.

Sir Humphrey

With the administration in Brussels and the Parliament in Strasbourg? Minister, it's like having the House of Commons in Swindon and the Civil Service in Kettering!