Xavier: Renegade Angel quotes

Someone stole our bloodhounds, but we got the backup bloodhounds to chase the first tier of bloodhounds.

Don't you see? The missing child you each seek to reconnect with is still inside you all. But you buried it. You, Paul, when you were six and you killed that spider monkey with that claw hammer, you really just squashed your heart with that hammer, and that's why you became a dirty pig cop.

Unload your troubles unto me, even if it's tough to swallow. I'm used to swallowing huge loads.

I'm going to help you, even if it kills us both!

I'm gonna name him after me. (beckoning) Come on, me!

The wise elders taught that resorting to violence will never change a person on the inside. In conflict you must rip your opponent a new asshole in his consciousness. Soon his mind will be open to all truth. All hole, no ass.

But, Master, you can't punch someone with your mind.

(gives Young Xavier a board) Hold this board.

(with a bloody nose) Idiot. He totally missed the board.

Silly, pain is a myth made up by poor people who don't want to work! Tears are as real as a unicorn's horn! I've got a unicorn's horn belt! Let's play a board game... I'm bored... I win! What's my prize? Where are you hiding my prize?!

Your prize is up here.

Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant. Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped. Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses. Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder. Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids.

And hey, vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. The kids, a huge bucket…of kids.

Weak...from drifting...on the longest mosy ever rambled. Weeks with no meal or beverage. Blistering desert pounding me to the crosine-tipped brink of insanity. Yet, perhaps there is truth in sand madness.

How long you been standing there, you freak?

What are you, a Chinaman?

I wish I knew myself.

We don't cotton to strange Chinamen with no sense of self who stand secretly by for indeterminate amounts of time. Gonna put you in a world of hurt.

Take that! Taste the pain!

We're here to announce that we have discovered the oldest cave drawing known to man.

The figure is a rather ugly creature, possibly a Chinaman of some sort...

I'm going to have to go back in time and find who did this painting, and what it means. But how?

(repeats) Every cigarette takes 17 minutes off your life.

(repeats) Every slice of bacon takes nine minutes off your life.

Can you dumb it down a notch?

If you smoke and eat bacon fast enough, you can go back in time.

Ooga-booga. How long you stand there, freak? You some kind of ooga-booga Chinaman? Me put you in world of hurt.

Take that! Ooga-booga. Taste pain!

My husband. He only does 'cause he love me.

No. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Maybe he does it because you're stupid.

Maybe.

Well, if that's love, I'd like to make some love (shakes his fist) to his mouth.