This support group is for people who are so woke that they are finding it impossible to have any fun at all. We have somebody new with us this week, so would you like to introduce yourself?
Hi, I'm Oscar. Uh I think, like a lot of you guys, for me it started with the little things - signing an online petition, going to a march. Well, before I knew it, I was writing to the Guardian about LGBT representation in the Harry Potter books.
Which is shocking, by the way!
All right, Lily, we've all read your blog. Don't worry, Oscar, you've come to the right place. All the young people in this room are ruining their lives by being overly virtuous.
That's actually a micro-aggression, to say "young people", because it carries subconscious bias towards the elderly.
Actually, what you're doing is denying agency to the elderly, which is arguably much worse.
This is what I'm talking about, you see? It's a slippery slope. One minute you're carrying a reusable water bottle - fine, and the next minute you're arguing that water is racist.
Oh, my God, is water racist?
No, no. It's just an example. Right, how did you guys get on with the homework that I set you?
"Guys" isn't an especially inclusive term.
Not now, Jamie.
By homework do you mean having to watch that old people sitcom?
It's called Friends, Lily, and you were supposed to watch it and enjoy it.
Well, I tried, but I found it deeply problematic.
Why?
Well, there's the homophobia, the transphobia, the fattism, the slut-shaming, and could Chandler BE any more annoying?
You can't go through your 20s worrying about every aspect of everything. You have to pick your battles, and just remember that it doesn't really matter because by the time you hit your 30s, most of you are going to be massively right-wing anyway. Have any of you started to think that maybe poor people don't deserve benefits?
No.
Well, watch out for that one, because that's how it starts. Look, I understand this has all been a bit much for some of you, so let's take five and have a Hobnob.
I find the word Hobnob very phallocentric.
Fuck off, Jamie.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Tracey Ullman's Show quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Tracey Ullman's Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.