Red Green in “North of Forty Advice Segments”

Red Green

Want to talk to you guys about something all of us are looking for as we go down the highway of life — a half-decent parking spot. I call it "The Seven Stages of Parking." Stage One, you're a kid. All you have to park is your butt. Then you hit Stage Two, you're a teenager. Now you're out parking with a girl who has a pretty good chance of being your future wife. Followed by Stage Three, you're married with kids, now you're parking at McDonald's. The one with the play area. Then we have Stage Four. Kids are grown, and they're working — coincidentally, at McDonald's. You've now gone out, got yourself a sportscar, and you're caught parking with a girl who has no chance of being your future wife. Okay, this leads immediately to Stage Five. Now you're parking in the garage, where you're also living. Now comes Stage Six. You're old. No license, no car, no parking spot. Then we have Stage Seven. You're parked. I'm talking permanently. I mean, you got your own parking spot, even has your name over it. So the lesson here is: life is short, all right? Grab your shifter, move it out of park, and throw it into gear! Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.