Laura Petrie quotes from The Dick Van Dyke Show

Morning, honey.

Laura Petrie

(in rapid-fire fashion) What do you mean by that? It may be a good morning for you, but it wasn't for me! You didn't have to clean up the mess that this one made when he decided to finger paint all over the bathroom mirror with the toothpaste. And you don't have to be concerned at all about the fact that the cleaning woman isn't coming today and you have five people coming over for lunch. Sure, go ahead, good morning! Why not?

(recoiling) Honey, give me another chance. I'll go out and come in again. I won't say good morning. I'll just wave as I go by.

Laura, there is no reason for your behavior!

Laura Petrie

There is every reason for my behavior — I'm angry!

Angry, yes, because I wouldn't behave like a puppet! Because I felt a responsibility to my employer!

Laura Petrie

For heaven's sake, Rob, that's not why I'm angry. I realize you have to do what you think is right. I wouldn't respect you if you let yourself get pushed around by anyone, including me.

Well, what are you angry with me for?

Laura Petrie

I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with me for being angry with you.

Well, is there anything I can do to patch up this little quarrel you're having among yourself so I can get out of the doghouse?

Laura Petrie

Did you ever think of trying a kiss?

Laura Petrie

Not on the neck.

Laura Petrie

That's better.

Laura Petrie

Almost.

Laura Petrie

(they embrace and kiss deeply) Oh, yes.

Laura Petrie

"Oh, Rob!"

(after being insulted by Buddy) "YEECH!"

"Shut up, Mel!"

"It's just like my Aunt Agnes always says..."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."