(While daydreaming of accepting an Oscar) A vive Jay Sherman, a vive Quebec-a. A vive Jay Sherman, a vive Quebec-a.
And that's why I'm glad The Beatles broke up!
This is worse than the time you sucker-punched Mr. Rogers!
When I grow up, I want to be a man just like you.
It's okay Dad, money's not important.
Now look, I'll be honest. This is the ride I take with all my brother's girlfriends where they admit they're just using him.
Great, welcome to our crappy family.
(On the phone) Jay, this is your sister. You got a lot of laughs on The Tonight Show last night. Um ... did you mean to have your fly open the whole time?
(On the phone) Jay, this is your sister. Mom just gave me your old room. Um ... do you still want this Leif Garrett poster?
Debutante balls are outdated, elitist, and sexist. You said so yourself in your review of Boyz n the Hood.
(To her ex Johnny, after he wanted to say goodbye before leaving) Aww, that's so sweet. Before you left, I wanted to say "Get bent."
(On the phone) Jay, this is your mother. Your father and I are taking you out of our will. We feel you already have enough money. Oh yes, and Happy Birthday.
The debutantes' ball is a Wigglesworth tradition! To starve yourself to fit into a dress, to dance with boys who feel you up and to drink so much you fall into a well. It's a magical night.
I was just going to give you some rubber bands to play with...but if you want to, you can come.
I think you media jackals are a pack of filthy muck-raking scum! What you people did to poor Dan Quayle is a disgrace! I hate you all! Except for you good people at the New Yorker.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Critic pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.