[getting into his car] Take me home, Sam.
The driver turns around. It's Uncle Sam.
You are home, Stephen. The Colbert Nation is your home - and it needs you now, more than ever.
No it doesn't.
Yes it does! The Democrats have only been in power for a few minutes and already they've already got us stuck in this unwinnable war!
[with realization dawning] Yeah, they really screwed the pooch on that one. That Democratic majority has had a free ride for too long! Thanks, Sam! [moves to get out of the car]
You're welcome.
[turning] Oh, by the way, there was no sparkling water in my drink caddy. You forget that again and I will fire your fat ass. You got me, old man?
Yes.
Yes, what?
Yes, sir.
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