[Mr Brittas, who is wearing a brown jumper, comes down to greet Mr Newmark in the leisure centre's reception]
Ah, Mr Newmark.
Gordon, dear boy, Hail fellow well met. I come most carefully from my hour. (Pulls out his Father Christmas costume) Ah, old friend. It hardly seems a twelfth month since last I donned the scarlet robe.
Been a good year then, has it, Mr Newmark?
Quiet, Gordon, very quiet.
Yes. Did your agent send you here 'cause I haven't actually spoken to him this year.
Nor have I. NO! No, I am mistaken. We did have a brief chat in July. We were discussing my career as Father Christmas, and he told me that in Australia, they have Christmas during the summer, so I went over there in August. It's a complete lie. They have Christmas in December the same as we do.
Yes, of course, but the reason I haven't spoken to your agent, Mr Newmark, is we're not actually booking you this year.
Ho ho ho, you jest.
[laughs] No, I don't jest. You see, we're closing the leisure centre today and we're not open until after Christmas. Staff training in Wales.
But I always play Father Christmas.
Not this year. You're surplus to requirements.
You can't give Father Christmas the sack!
Don't tell me 'cause you already got one! [laughs]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More The Brittas Empire quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brittas Empire pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.