[The Deep walks into the Vought boardroom and sees Black Noir II drinking sake with his feet up on table]
Are you fucking nuts?! Put your mask back on! G–Get out of his chair! What are you doing?!
You know what’s funny? I hate sake. But I’m supposed to follow some stupid black ninja bullshit, which makes no goddamn sense, by the way. You ever meet a black ninja?
Lower your voice.
There’s nobody here. They left us like babies so they could go do important stuff. We don’t matter.
Hey, speak for yourself. I’m doing a ton of important shit.
Yeah? Like what?
Need-to-know, bro. Need-to-fucking-know.
[gets up and walks] Fuck it. I’m done with all this shit.
You’re quitting?! What are you gonna do?! Seven’s the biggest gig there is!
Look, I don’t understand Noir, okay? You know there was nothing in his closet but literally, like, seven file boxes of shitty Buster Beaver drawings? Why’d he have that?
Who the fuck knows or cares?
[sighs] I’m going to Missouri tomorrow. I booked Cirque de Vought’s new show, VIVANT! Music of the Bee Gees. Three nights a week in Branson. They’re gonna let me fly. I can fly, did you know that?
Yeah, dude, we all know that. [walks up] Look, why didn’t you just come to me?
About what?
Seriously, dude? [sighs] Man, me and the old Noir? We were, like, great bros. Like, real bros. [sighs; takes sake bottle] Give me this. [Black Noir II sits back down] Few years ago, Noir cleared out an entire Indonesian fishing village. Vought Fresh Farms was expanding their palm oil plantation, but the locals were bitching ’cause they needed the river to survive or whatever the fuck. Noir “cancelled” two dozen of ’em. Came back with a raging hard-on for a week. [Black Noir II chuckles] No, dude. See, what you’re not getting is how horny killing made the old Noir. That was his whole thing.
But I don’t really like violence.
[sighs] Look, I know this is hard to imagine, but some people laugh at me. [chuckles] It’s crazy, right?
Yeah.
But you know what I realized? When I crush someone’s nose into the back of their skull or beat ’em so bad that they’ll never walk again? [chuckles] They’re not laughing anymore. They show respect. Violence is power.
I’m starting to get why it gave Noir so much chub.
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