(Two young black men bump into each other walking down the street)
Watch where you walkin' nigga.
Ey, what you say, nigga?
(Narrating) Watch closely. You're about to experience a "nigga moment." Webster defines the "nigga moment" as a moment where ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical negro male...
(The men pull out guns and point them at each other)
What did you say, bitch nigga?
Hey squeeze it, nigga!
...Causing them to act in an illogical, self-destructive manner. I.E., like a nigga.
(The two men continue shouting at each other, then shoot at each other, missing every shot despite being right next to each other)
Nigga moments are unpredictable...
Hey wait man, wait! This is stupid!
Hey you right, dog. Look, let's put the guns away and go on about our business.
Freeze!
(Police officers shoot both men down)
...but they all end up bad. If they had their own category, nigga moments would be the third leading killer of black men behind pork chops and F.E.M.A.. It's a fact. Now let's see how a nigga moment affects a white man.
(One of the black men from the first example bumps into a white man)
(muttering) Prick.
Watch where you walking, bitch!
What did you…wait a minute…haha, I'm white, hahahahaha! (he walks away)
Where you going!? Don't you ignore me! This is a perfectly good moment to throw your life away!
A big misconception about the "nigga moment" is that it can be avoided by simply movin' away from niggas. If only it were that easy; see, niggas always got a new trick right around the corner.
...
Every nigga moment begins with the nigga. Without that key element, all you're left with is peace and quiet.
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