Joey Ice Cream quotes from The Black Donnellys

Joey Ice Cream

[narrating] That was the Donnellys. They could never make it more than a block outta the neighborhood.

So, where are the bodies?

Joey Ice Cream

Oh, man. These guys are my friends.

Here's the deal, Joey. You tell us where the bodies are, how they got there, and you stay in solitary, nice and safe. You lie, you go to general population where more people than I can count want to see you dead.

[throws a book down on the table harshly] Where are the bodies?

Joey Ice Cream

But it's like the old saying goes: "The only way two people can keep a secret is if both of them are dead".

You mean if one of them is dead. That's the saying.

Joey Ice Cream

Obviously we come from different neighborhoods.

[to Tommy] Before I can even think about giving you absolution, you have to promise before God that you won't ever do anything like this again. Can you do that?

Joey Ice Cream

[narrating voice over] Tommy didn't need to promise. He already decided there was never gonna be a good enough reason to kill anybody ever again.

Are you saying Tommy Donnelly never killed again? Because if I look stupid to you, I'd just like to know right up front.

Joey Ice Cream

That was the plan. Tommy's plan was to make things right with God and save what was left of his soul. The problem was he thought he could do that and still take care of his brothers. Which of course was the same plan that got him into all this trouble to begin with. Which meant he had to get Jimmy into rehab.

Kevin Donnelly

I always wanted to drive a cab.

Joey Ice Cream

Are you nuts? Twenty hours in a confined space being told what to do by the kind of people who can't even afford cars?

Joey Ice Cream

[voice over narrating] Kevin introducing Jimmy to Whitey was gonna result in one of the most gruesome and violent deaths the neighborhood had ever seen. I mean what did Kevin know. He was only trying to help. Was Whitey gonna kill Jimmy or was Jimmy gonna kill Whitey?

[voice over] So who killed who?

Joey Ice Cream

[voice over] When?

[voice over] In the knife fight!

Joey Ice Cream

[voice over] Oh. That was later.

Tell us about Robert Kelly.

Joey Ice Cream

Who?

Bob The Mouth.

Joey Ice Cream

Never heard of him. But I gotta tell you, you gotta feel for a guy unlucky enough to get tagged with a name like that...

You wanna know what unlucky is? How a guy can fall off his chair like the one you're sittin' in and break his neck!

Joey Ice Cream

You know, I suddenly remember the fellow you're talking about.

Joey Ice Cream

Actually it's a lucky thing we stumbled into the extortion business because the book making business was about to hit a bump.

Stop right there. What does any of this have to do with Kelly?

Joey Ice Cream

Bob the Mouth?

Yeah.

Joey Ice Cream

Oh, well, all of that started with Kevin.

Kevin? Kevin Donnelly?

Joey Ice Cream

Yes, Kevin Donnelly. Who are we talking about here? [gives the officer a funny look]

Sit up. [slaps his head] Sit up! Now cross your legs.

Joey Ice Cream

What, do I have to?

Only if you don't want to get a kick in the balls.

Jimmy Donnelly

Stop with the jumping.

Joey Ice Cream

I always get jumpy when people try to kill me. I gotta tell you, Jimmy, I don't know about this plan.

Jimmy Donnelly

You haven't even heard it yet.

Joey Ice Cream

Yeah, but anything with grenades and me is a poor plan.

You lied to your lawyers. To the Grand Jury. To your priest.

Joey Ice Cream

I swear to God.

I think you lied to Him too.