TV show quotes
At eleven o'clock it wasn't busy, and at that point I pulled [the van back]. Perhaps I should have pulled it earlier...Nick Hewer: Even if it was busy, they wouldn't have bought your coffee at that price. Nobody seems to grasp this point!Gerri Blackwood: But I did manage to sell eleven cups. Nick Hewer [sarcastically] Oh, well done.
Sir Alan Sugar: Eleven?! What do you want, a medal? You should have sold a hundred and eleven! You sold eleven. It's a disgrace!
(to Tre Azam) Remember I told you last week never to underestimate me?
Tre Azam: Yes?
Sir Alan Sugar: Do you want to tell your colleagues where you really got the name from?
(holds up a piece of paper)
Is this the company you work for?
Andy, nice enough fellow as you are, I don't believe that you had this thing under control. I think you could have solved the location problem, I think you could have solved the purchasing problem. Andy, you're fired!
Andy Jackson: Sir Alan, can I say anything at this point to change your mind? I will fight my corner I will give 110%...
Sir Alan Sugar: I'm sure you would. But you were out of control on the locations, you were out of control on the stock. I'm sorry, Andy, but you are fired.
Don't talk to me like I'm a child, don't talk to me like you're my boss, we're all in this together.
Rory Laing: I am your boss.
Tre Azam: You're not my boss, you're my project manager...
Rory Laing: I am your boss!
Tre Azam: You're nothing to me.
It does fulfil the task of being innovative. A blanket-
Sir Alan Sugar: Well it's got some originality.
Rory Laing: Yeah
Sir Alan Sugar: You've gotta find an original nutter to wear it, first of all.
Ifti, I don't know if you've got a problem or something, but you are not transmitting confidence to me.
Ifti Chaudri: Ah, Sir Alan, I do apologise for that. I know it's no excuse, but I was missing my son very badly...
[Tre laughs]
Sir Alan Sugar: What, you think that's funny, do you?
Tre Azam: Not at all, I have a son too. But when you have to get down to work, you have to get down to work, don't you?
Ifti Chaudri: I've never been away from my son, and I found it crippling, to be honest with you. Absolutely crippling.
Sir Alan Sugar: You can't concentrate on this, is really what you're saying?
Ifti Chaudri: It doesn't look like I can. But I'm just being honest with you, Sir Alan, because I'm not going to be going into tasks and not giving 100%. You saw me on the first task, you saw what I'm capable of, but I just found myself in a mental block, and if I can't tell you the truth, what can I do?
Sir Alan Sugar: I appreciate it, you're a very good family man. But business is business, as I'm sure you'll agree. And so it's with regret, Ifti, that I'm going to have to say to you, you're fired.
[Ifti sighs, gets up and leaves. Sir Alan turns to face Rory and Tre]
Sir Alan Sugar: I suppose you think you've got off lightly there? That because Ifti's gone, that's it, you can get back to the house? Well, as I've said once before, never underestimate me, and don't try and second guess what's going on. Because, I'm telling you, as unusual as it is, one of you is still going to get fired.
Rory, you're a disaster. I'm sorry, an absolute, total disaster. I've given you the chance to explain yourself, and you haven't. I was told that you were bankrupt; there's no shame in that, been bankrupt twice. Well, here's the hat-trick... Rory, you're fired!
Stupid titties and fish.
They come across like something that belongs in a fetish gallery.
I absolutely admire anybody like you have done...a mother under the circumstances which you were in, done your Open University stuff, got your MBA and this, that and the other. Love it, okay? Me? It don't mean jack shit, quite frankly. I'm not interested in these titles, okay?
The French are cheese connoisseurs, and we're going to sell them something from Makro?
(attempting to sell while speaking French) Hello, we have some specialities of Britishness... are you interesting?
So, just to recap, we're trying to sell pork sausages to a Muslim, and offering him a taster in the middle of Ramadan. Other than that, I think it's all going perfectly well!
Is this a joke?! (during Paul's attempted explanation of his baked bean-tin stove)
She's a complete snake in the grass and, frankly, too orange to be taken seriously. (about Kristina Grimes)
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