Don't forget to vote for Amber for president!
DDanielle
Why would I want to vote for Amber when I'm running for president?
Happy Hanukkah!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Your turn.
Oh, sorry. I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, and a large root beer.
We're doing the show! Earth to Debbie!
Hi, Earth!
You'd better check the date on your brain, because I think it expired!
Thanks!
My daddy has a car!
My mom uses a special ointment!
AAmber
[after seeing Jamie Bradford is really a boy, not a girl] Emergency conference!
[The girls get together.]
AAmber
Oh my gosh!
Oh my gosh!
DDanielle
Oh my gosh!
Oh my gosh!
Oh my hammers!
Oh, for the love of Fat Elvis! Can we please get this show on the road?
Debbie, as a child, were you dropped on your head?
Sure! Lots of times!
...and welcome to my show!
...and I stay crunchy, even in milk!
...and I have my father's credit card!
...and my grandma makes great coleslaw!
...and I have no use for the metric system!
...and everybody here gets complementary chicken breasts!
...and I'm the star for the next half-hour!
...and my parents think I'm at the library!
...and we're on television!
...and I'm 100% biodegradable!
...and I'm freshly showered!
...and I come with everything you see here!
...and I contain 10% real fruit juice!
...and I come with your choice of fries or onion rings!
...and my dad's a dentist! Uh, wait; my dad's not really a dentist. He's a guy who gives free ice cream to people!
...and everybody here gets a free car! Just kidding. No! I'm serious! You all get a free car!
...and my shoes taste just like chicken!
...and I...and I...I'm sorry! I forgot my line!
...and everyone here tonight gets a free cell phone!
...and I say the fork is superior to the chopstick!
...and I enjoy red meat!
...and Nickelodeon pays me to do this!
...and my belly button contains no lint!
...and I declare this month "National Blow Off Your Homework Month!"
...and in case of emergency, I can be used as a floatation device!
...and we're writing by the best writers Nick can afford!
...and I have no use for the metric system!
...and I have feet at the end of my legs!
LMLula Mae
Knock, knock.
EEenis
Who's there?
LMLula Mae
Rag doll.
EEenis
Rag doll who?
LMLula Mae
I'm gonna hit you in the head with a rag doll!
EEenis
[laughs] Uh, what?
[Lula Mae hits Eenis with a rag doll and he trips around all over the place. Then he stands back up and laughs some more.]
EEenis
Ha, ha; that's a good one!
NNOTE
All jokes in this sketch are the same; the only difference is what Lula Mae hits Eenis with.
One time I had this mosquito bite, and it was all, like, itchy, so then I scratched it, and then it got all itchy again, so I, like, scratched it again, and then it got all itchy again, so then I scratched it again, and it got itchy. Again. So I scratched it...again!
One time, I had this, like, double cheeseburger, and it was, like, good, and the juice was all, like, double, and it was, like, the best double cheeseburger that I ever, like, had, like, ever, in my life, and then a week later, I like, threw up.
From his garage, it's Totally Kyle!
That was Totally Kyle!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Amanda Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.