[At the power goes out again, Cal reports to Danny.]
Are they fixing it?
In a manner of speaking, yeah.
What does that mean?
They don't know how to fix it.
All S1
S1 E3The Focus Group
[Danny is sitting on Matt's chest after a struggle on the beach.]
Are people looking at us right now?
I think they are.
Well, could you punch me in the face or something, 'cause to a casual observer this appears a little homoerotic for my comfort.
I definitely hear you on that.
S1 E4The West Coast Delay
You know, where I grew up, if this had happened, there'd be a town meeting, and everybody'd be there. And the guy would have to sit and listen while Reverend Tillinghouse gave a sermon on honesty and character.
That's exactly what would happen where I grew up, except we'd've driven by the guy's house and shot him with a GAT-9.
See, there's more that unites us than divides us.
Things happen around here. People blowing smoke out of their office windows at night?!
Tell me no one is getting high in this building, Danny.
You're shocked that drugs are a part of late night comedy? The Coneheads, Toonces the Driving Cat? You think Belushi and Farley died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
Tell me it's not happening here.
It's not happening here.
[Harriet gives Matt a gift -- a baseball bat which a player had given to her.]
He wrote his phone number on here. You didn't see it?
That's his phone number?
What did you think it was?
I just thought it was his uniform number. You know, they sign their name, and then write the number...
Yeah, they do... do that. You thought his uniform number was 3 billion, 106 million, 786 thousand, 5 hun-- he was asking you out.
The guy hadn't gotten anything on the air in a long time and was scared for his job. We talked to him and in no uncertain terms, he screwed up huge and he knows it. But I'm not gonna end his career over it. Cause I know how he feels. That's why we misled you and told you it was written by the room. People aren't even going for funny anymore, Matt. They're just trying for your respect. Anyway, we told Danny. We'll step down if you want, but we're not giving him up.
Well, now you've got my respect.
Look skipper, if I wanted to make you jealous trust me you'd be jealous.
I am jealous!
Well then, bonus for me.
S1 E5The Long Lead Story
[to rehearsal audience] Danny Tripp has just gone upstairs to Matt Albie's office, where the two of them will very quickly decide what makes it into the show tonight. We call this "the Friday-night slaughter". This is where you find out if you have the chance to be the next Bill Murray, or the next Domino's Pizza delivery guy.
Well, everyone here's a big fan of yours, Martha.
Really? How would I be referred to in your parents' house?
The Devil's whore from Washington.
Yeah... I'm really the Devil's whore from Bethesda.
Sting is in the building right now?
He's on stage.
Sting is upstairs, playing a lute.
You want to go watch?
Harriet, you're interesting but... get out of my way!
It's a beautiful instrument.
Sting? Or the lute?
What are you writing about, Martha?
I don't know yet. I know that half this country hates the other half, and I know that, for 90 minutes a week, you and Harriet come together.
S1 E6The Wrap Party
[In the studio, a tipsy Jordan explains to Cal that she's avoiding her boss, Jack.]
So, I'm hiding here tonight. This is like, for me, Superman's Dome of Pleasure.
Fortress of Solitude?
Yes!
Well, enjoy yourself.
I believe I will!
JJeannie
How do you feel about Darren?
I'm crazy about him, and I'll tell you why.
JJeannie
He's a professional athlete and has the body of one?
No. It's because he's the anti-Matt. Darren is the anti-Matt! He's not snide, he's not smug, he's not superior -- he goes to church! -- he works with his hands...
JJeannie
Well, he's not a rancher. He's a middle-reliever for the Los Angeles Dodgers.
I'm saying he is, by and large, unburdened by....what?
JJeannie
Thought?
He thinks.
JJeannie
About what?
I'm looking forward to discovering that tonight.
[Tom is dismayed about his parents' imminent visit to the studio.]
I'm gonna show them around the studio, and when we say goodnight, I swear to God, my father's gonna ask me if I need any money, and it is going to take everything I've got not to point out to him I could buy his house four times and turn it into my ping-pong room.
I would resist that urge.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.