Zaf quotes from Spooks

Adam

Mr. Younis!

Zaf

Mr. Carter!

Adam

What have you been up to?

Zaf

Oh, you know, exploring my identity crisis. Asian or British? British or Asian? It's tearing me apart.

Zaf

I've got an idea. But we need to act very fast before she moves him.

Harry

I'm not sure you're...

Zaf

It's my unique selling point, Mr. Pearce. Young Asian males don't often work for the security services.

Harry

Call me Harry.

Adam

I'm going to check it out, you get the girl.

Zaf

Yeah, or I could do the warehouse.

Adam

No, I'm doing it.

Zaf

Adam, look, you really need to stop trying to hold my hand. Take the car and get the girl back to base.

Adam

Well, how you gonna get there?

Zaf

There's a cab office on the main road. I'll ask backup to come and collect me later.

Adam

All right, I'll text you the address.

Zaf

Oh, and, er, watch the accelerator because it's got a 280-brake horsepower twin turbo. Enjoy.

Zaf

Present for you, "Vanessa."

[opens a box with identity papers] I'm not sure I really suit "Vanessa."

And you got away with it?

Zaf

[in a Scottish accent] It's all down to the delivery. [they laugh] Make sure you know all this stuff inside out. It saved my life once.

Zaf

Okay, I'm ready.

Adam

Now don't forget, we're only playing "What if?"

Zaf

You mean what if Harry organized the assassination of Princess Diana? I think he could have.

Ruth

You don't mean that.

Zaf

Don't I?

Ruth

It's the conspiracy theories, they suck you in.

Zaf

Yeah, they do. Some say it was caused by satanists because Diana's mercedes crashed into the 13th pillar in the tunnel. Then there's the theory that limo was stolen a month before by the Israeli secret service. The steering was modified so it could be controlled by a remote radio signal.

Ruth

Now Mossad did it?

Zaf

No. MI-5 and MI-6 did it in a joint operation. And I'll show you how. The British Embassy in Paris denied ever knowing that Diana had arrived in Paris. But they did. And the night before she arrived at the Ritz, two very high-ranking MI-6 officers arrived at the embassy.

Zaf

Where's Jo?

Ros

Death by mascara... it was horrible to watch. Ruth's agonizing over the fact that there are no more horses in modern-day warfare and Adam's on a course learning how to lift his knuckles off the ground, so... you'll have to make do with me I'm afraid.

Zaf

Shouldn't you be in prison or something?

Ros

This is the something. You okay?

Zaf

My cover's still intact.

Ros

No, I meant-

Zaf

I'm fine. Hanif was talking about a bomb.

Ros

It's going to be taken out of the game without them noticing. We've been given a lease of life to turn our recruit.

Zaf

We?

Ros

You and I are now the shock troops of waterfall. Admittedly I get to go home at night. How is life in the flat?

Zaf

Claustrophobic, irritable, jumpy. Every noise outside is a possible raid.

Ros

Group dynamics?

Zaf

Samir's getting more envious of Michael since he became Hanif's right-hand man. I'm busy stoking the flames of discord.

Ros

Okay, let's talk about sex.

Zaf

Oh, yeah, hang on... Sorry it's just that it's been so long.

Ros

We can use it to turn Michael Johnson.

Zaf

You really think I'm his type?

Zaf

You awake?

Ruth

Didn't sleep.

Zaf

No, neither did I.

Ruth

I'm going to have to remind myself of why exactly I did this for the rest of my life.

Zaf

You know why.

Ruth

How much longer?

Zaf

Only a few hours now.

Ruth

And then?

Zaf

And then it's up to you.

Ruth

Yeah. If we ever bump into each other again... either here or abroad, I know what you are trained to say, but if we do...

Zaf

I'll smile.

Ruth

Promise?

Zaf

Of course. I smile at every pretty woman I pass.

Ros

Religion, the opium of the masses.

Zaf

Really? I thought that was football.

Ros

Yeah, except for ooh-ah cantona wasn't his last message to the world.