Ichabod Crane quotes from Sleepy Hollow

Ichabod Crane

When I beheaded him, that man didn't die. Because he was never a man at all. He is Death itself, Lieutenant. And somehow he has returned to Sleepy Hollow to finish what he started.

Ichabod Crane

What's insane is a ten-percent levy on baked goods. You do realise the Revolutionary War began on less than two percent—how is the public not flocking to the streets in outrage?! We must do something.

Ichabod Crane

I was born more than two centuries ago, and my wife is a prisoner in some otherworldly realm. I'm no stranger to complications.

Ichabod Crane

An officer of the law with a criminal past. Imagine the delinquency we could perpetrate if we really put our minds to it.

Ichabod Crane

  [to Abbie]  I've lived on borrowed time; more than any man deserves.  I've seen wonders beyond my wildest imaginings.  And through these centuries, against the impossibility that we would find each other, we did.  And I am most grateful for it.

Ichabod Crane

  [looks at a warped image of himself in a mirror at a fair]  What kind of torture is this?  Since when did irony become the nation's pastime?

Ichabod Crane

  Good day.  This is Captain Ichabod Crane, Esquire.  If you will be so kind, please leave your name, rank, and an address where I may reach you, and I will return this correspondence in a timely manner.  And now, what do I press?  Pound?  What's pound?

Ichabod Crane

  [reading text]  On my way.  Colon, close parentheses.  Oh, it's a man's face.  I suppose that's…charming.

Ichabod Crane

  I'm not blaming you, Lieutenant.  It's these telecommunication companies overwhelming the populace with their ostentatious advertisements.  They're coercing the consumer into purchasing countless 'system updates'.  It's an abuse of capitalism and certainly not the vision behind our laissez-faire market.

Ichabod Crane

  A surprise party.  And why must your era celebrate terror with dessert?

Ichabod Crane

  My wife is now a captive of the Horseman of Death and the Horseman of War…is my son.

Ichabod Crane

Sheriff Reyes, I have tried to cooperate, but this country was founded by men who fought for nothing if not individual liberty, forged by the blood of men who refused to bow to a tyrant's will, and as I stand in this public house of law and order, built to defend that very liberty, I declare: I'm well within my rights to be here.

Ichabod Crane

Abraham cajoled me into coming to America. Katrina influenced my turn, put me to sleep, sent me on my mission to become a Witness. How do I know myself when at every turn my life has been determined by others?

Ichabod Crane

I have deciphered every code from Caesar shift to Morse, yet the one that will always elude me is modern dress. How can one be both business and casual?

Ichabod Crane

  [to Thomas Jefferson]  Yours is the greatest mind I've ever known.