I gave that bastard more time, care and attention than any fսckеr in his life, and they want to question me? Give me shit? All I try and do is help and I get blamed when things go wrong. Blame culture. That's what's wrong with this country.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Nick is depressed and wants to talk about his feelings with his father. His father is having none of it.]
I've had a bad night.
You had a bad night because you chose to have one! Or is that my fault too, is it?
Dad, I need --
For fսck's sake, Nick! [quietly] Grow up.
[Leon walks out]
[Nick has had enough of his tyrannical, controlling father.]
You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him.
Shut up.
[in disbelief] What?
[Matty is confused and is surprised by Nick's words]
I did it.
[scoffs] Don't believe you.
I don't care what you believe.
[sighs] I see. [stands upright] You're standing up for yourself. Is that it? He's got to you. See, I know you Nick and you wouldn't have done shit if it wasn't for--
[interrupting] No! I wouldn't have done shit if it wasn't for you. None of this would have happened if you'd just... [pause] Fuck! [pause] Stop being a cunt.
[Matty walks over]
[surprised and dismayed] So, what, you... you're ganging up on me now, are you?
Yeah. Yes, we are.
[Leon walks away in defeat.]
I know they're being shitty, but I can't just wreck the farm. It's all they've got. And I... you know.
No, what?
I love them, and stuff.
Haha, you're gay for your parents.
[Rich is laughing to himself]
Has Hannah Montana died or something?
[Blood rejects Grace's request to have friends over]
Why? Because education is war?
Education is war. Against inefficiency, ignorance, idleness, and chewing gum.
Franky, uh, you haven't really told us whether you're a... you know. Or a...
What?
LLiv
A lesbian.
Liv! That's so-
No. It's okay. I don't mind. And the answer is... No. I'm not anything.
So you're bisexual?
No. I'm into... people.
[David Blood decides to send Grace back to her old school.]
Your drop-off point.
[hesitatingly] Dad, I can explain.
There's no need. I think our little experiment may be over. It's time you returned to Mayberry's College For Young Ladies.
[protests] No! You can't send me back there! It's in the middle of nowhere, and everyone's horrible and smells of horses!
This place is bad for you. These friends I see you with, they distract you from your studies.
[tearing up] But you don't know Rich or my friends! And I get As for everything! [shouting] EVERYTHING!
[Rich is beyond surprised when he finds out that his girlfriend, Grace, is the headmaster's daughter.]
David bloody Blood!
Shh. He doesn't want people to know!
Why not?
He thinks it will compromise his position if people know he has a daughter in college. He made me promise.
[David Blood tries to intimidate Rich into leaving Grace forever. He does this by illegally obtaining his father's employment records.]
Your father's employment record, including the results of his last appraisal. It's not, as you can see, glowing.
[Enquiringly] How did you get this?
[Smugly] That's unimportant. I can tell from that information that your life, just like your father's, will add up to very little. Very little indeed.
So what?
I can make things easier for you. I can make them easier for your father. I know people. And I will not be a principal forever.
What are you talking about?
These drama examinations are externally moderated. I cannot influence the result, but if someone who I am told is very good on stage were, say, to perform very badly on purpose...
You want Grace to fail her examination? Why?
Because, Richard, she is too good for you.
I'm doing this because I love you. I just want better for you.
No, David. You just want a different daughter.
You're very sweet. But this can't happen, Rich. There's nothing we can do, it's over.
Oh, whilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
Tell me. Tell me what to do. What's left to do?
The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine. What do people in Shakespeare do when it's all fucked, when they're trapped? How do they work it all out? Maybe stories are just stories. Or maybe... we can make our life a story. So marry me, Grace Violet Blood.
[Grace and Rich kiss]
Oh, wonder. How many goodly creatures are there here. How beauteous mankind is. Oh, brave new world. That has such people in it.
I look like...
Justin Bieber.
Take that back!
OK, OK... you look like a man who's just made the ultimate sacrifice for love! Right. Uhhh... (gasps) Rain check- rings!
(irritated) You should know- best man.
Oh, yeah! (fishes the rings out of his pocket) Uhhh- suits are all sorted.
Dare I ask how?
(chuckling) Da and Dowie used to be a Beatles crupie band together! I fished 'em out, you know, all the-
I'm gonna ignore that.
Matty and Nick are taking care of... (Matty and Nick rush past them with a shopping cart of stolen alcohol, pursued by security guards)
Catering's sorted, boss!
(laughing at Rich's new haircut) Oh my gay, it's Justin Bieber!
(in response to Nick's continual requests for pills) No, I do not have any pharma- fucking- ceuticals, Nicholas!
[With his leg caught in a trap] Save yourself! Leave me to the bears.
We're in Somerset, Nick.
To the fucking squirrels then!
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