I've had this condition since I was eleven! I've been in and out of hospitals my whole life. I have no control over it. Doctors have told me that when I feel it, the best thing to do is just release it. Otherwise, I could die.
Well you're still not allowed.
Do you hear what I'm saying to you?! I'm telling you that if I don't go, I could die. Die. Is it worth dying for?
That's up to you.
So you don't care if I die.
What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility.
It was life and death.
Uh huh.
Oh I'm lying. Why would I do it unless I was in mortal danger? I know it's against the law.
I don't know.
Because I could get Uromysitisis poisoning and die. That's why!...Do you think I enjoy living like this?...the shame, the humiliation...You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Seinfeld quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Seinfeld pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.