Cyrus Rutherford Beene quotes from Scandal

Cyrus

You know what happens if a bored nurse or arrogant doctor tweets that the President, same one who was shot in the head ten months ago, is in the hospital in the middle of the night? Markets panic. Reporters swarm. DEFCON levels change.

Cats and dogs will finally get along?

Cyrus

I'm asking you to be an adult. Stop holding your breath. Quit stomping your feet. It's time to pick up your toys like a good girl and act like the First Lady of the United States of America.

Mellie

Tell Fitz he has 36 hours to convince me in person that he regrets the unfortunate choices he's made and truly wants to recommit himself to his wife and children. If he doesn't, he will have the pleasure of seeing the First Lady of the United States call her husband a whore-loving bastard on national television.

Sally

I just cannot believe, after everything the President has survived... That sad little bout with Amanda Tanner and Billy Chambers, an assassination attempt? Who would have thought it would be his own wife who finally brings him down? Well, you know what the Bible says.

Cyrus

No, I don't.

Sally

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Cyrus

That's not in the bible. Not everything is from the Bible, Sally.

Cyrus

Let me get this straight. Highly trained Black Ops assassins broke into your home and tried to kill you and instead of, oh, making a run toward reason, instead of the possibility of death making you decide that maybe it's better to be single, you have decided that the killers were merely firing heart-shaped bullets made out of bubbles and candy to signify that you and your boyfriend Fitzy are MFEO, made for each other?

Olivia

Cyrus, you're being dramatic.

Cyrus

I've moved Heaven and Earth to save you from yourselves. I have lied for you. I have stolen for you. I have cheated for you. I have killed for you. I have almost died for you. And you, you two are so stupid and romantic and high on your own doomed love, Romeo and Juliet, Dear Diary nonsense that you won't even save your own lives, but I am being dramatic? The love of your life is a red-handed, cold-blooded killer. That is what you're dealing with. That is who you love.

Mellie

They want to go public.

Cyrus

Aren't you part of they now? One-third of some secret, unholy political trinity.

Cyrus

Now you listen to me...

David

No, you listen to me. I may not have the Cytron card anymore, but I do have my conscience. And there's a hell of a lot of noise I can make if I don't think you're worthy of the moral sacrifice I made.

Mellie

I just don't understand why I have to apologize for his affair.

Cyrus

Because that's how it works.

Cyrus

You're worried about James cheating on me? That's...oddly sweet.

Mellie

Once you open that door, Cyrus, you cannot close it again. It changes you. Changes everything.

Cyrus

My husband's not your husband, Mellie.

Cyrus

I'll give you exactly one second to get your feet off my desk.

Leo

Or what?

Cyrus

Or I'll cut 'em off and shove 'em down your throat.

Leo

I'm a size 11 1/2. I seriously doubt my feet would fit down my throat.

Cyrus

I'm not talking about your feet, you baby-faced twit. I'm talking about your balls.

Cyrus

What are you gonna do? You're on our side. You cannot let this out.

Olivia

I can't do this again. I want to walk into the light and feel the sun on my face, Cyrus. You're on your own. I'm sorry.

Cyrus

You know the job, Olivia. You know what we do.

Olivia

Don't you resent it?

Cyrus

Of course I resent it. But somewhere in this head of mine, behind the fog, behind the anger, is my faint recollection that what we do is important, that my husband died for a reason, that his death matters. So, instead of going home and crying about it like I'm going to do, I need you to get back in there, back in that little white building with all those miserable people inside of it and do the job for both of us. Because it's not just that family you're putting back together. It's the whole damn country.

Leo

Any words of advice?

Cyrus

Nope. Well, maybe. Try and protect your soul if you still have one. It's futile, but you should still try.

Olivia

How did we get like this? When did we stop being people?

Cyrus

Were we ever people? Or did serving at the pleasure of the President just help us to shed our pesky skins and unmask us as the monsters we really are?

Olivia

Cyrus, you know I'm not afraid of the I.R.S.

Cyrus

I'll tell him you call every day. I'll tell him you call, asking about him every day, that you're pining for him. Sorry to be such a bastard, Liv. Craving meat really brings out the worst in me.

Mellie

It's not the same. My child. Your husband. It's not the same.

Cyrus

I keep hearing that. The loss of a child is greater. I resent that, never having lost a child. I resent having to feel like losing the love of my life, the only someone who ever made me feel like I was truly me, is less of a loss, is smaller than your loss. I am now broken. I'm not me. I'm forever changed. I'm undone. A broken heart is a broken heart. To take a measure is cruelty.