Fitz quotes from Scandal

You're not the president! You don't weigh in on foreign policy! Your opinion doesn't matter! You are the First Lady. Your job is to plant gardens and decorate rooms and let them blog about your clothes. You're ornamental. Not functional. So, don't come into the Oval and try to use your brain because no one cares.

I may not be able to control my erections around you, but that does not mean I want you. We are done.

You can't fix the fact that I love you. That I love you more than I love being President. I have told you that I'd give it all up for you again and again, and you know what I think? i think you don't believe me. I think you believe that I will never choose you. Well, this time, I'm fixing things. Sit with me and watch me choose you. Watch me earn you.

It's a simple choice, Cy. Door number one, I tell the truth and the both of us get kicked out of this White House. Door number two, I admit to the Jeannine affair and Jake gets released. What's it going to be? Because I'm about to go on live television and I need to know what to say. How Presidential are my balls now, Cy?

I need this all to mean something. This seal, this office... It has to mean something. I've lost too much. I've given up too much. I'm not even a person anymore. I am a statue. A monument. If I don't get to be some soccer dad in Vermont, then I need this all to have a point.

I have dealt with Drunk Mellie, Bad Hygiene Mellie... No, wait. I got it. Smelly Mellie. I have dealt with Drunk Mellie and Smelly Mellie and Screw-Everything-to-Hell Mellie and Cry-baby Mellie and Eat-Everything-That's-Not-Nailed-Down Mellie. And I have not complained. But I will not put up with whatever righteous History-Rewriting Mellie you have going on right here, right now. This is not your family. You are not the mother. Not since Jerry died. Since Jerry died, you have abdicated your role. You have mothered no one. You hold nothing together. You pick up no pieces.

You have so many qualities I despise, but I do admire your brilliance. So do the math, Mel. Fighting this, fighting me, will mean both of us deploy every weapon in our arsenals. Every lie, every secret, every juror on that bus. Mutually assured destruction. We'll be ruined. Now me, I'm a war hero, governor, two-time President. My bucket list is done. You? Your biggest accomplishment so far is breathing and smiling.

It's me. I know you said not to call but I just wanted you to know...I get it. All this time I've been waiting to hear from you so you could tell me what you wanted, but it's what you don't want, isn't it? You don't want this. I'm going to deny Sally's story and bring Mellie back to the White House because I don't want you to throw away your whole life just for me. I love you too much for that.

It's Olivia's job as a fixer to be smart. To be practical and unemotional. She makes the the smart move. In her office, the smart move is the only move that counts, but you know what? We don't work for Liv. I'm president of the United States. We work for the American people. The playbook is the constitution. In my office, it's not about doing the smart thing. It's about doing the right thing.

Look, you misunderstood what you saw...

Cyrus

I did not misunderstand. It may be a long while since I had an angry lover on my hands, but I do remember what it looks like.

You think they'll get past this?

Olivia

I don't know how they can.

I think that those two people want to be together. I think that love, at the end of the day, is stronger than some mistake somebody made. Something they did that they regret. I think that love allows for forgiveness.

Cyrus

We employ the best speechwriters in the western world.

Are there better ones in the eastern world?

Cyrus

Nobody likes a smart-ass, Mr. President.

For God sakes, Cy, show some respect.

Cyrus

128 innocent Americans – children, mommies and daddies and best friends and husbands and wives – died in that plane crash yesterday. That's sad. We lost one of the few sane, and worthy, members of the senate yesterday. That's sad. Four Navy SEALs died in Afghanistan... and that doesn't even touch Sudan, Congo, Northern Mexico. That's sad. But the disturbed girl who made it her life's mission to take down this administration, the one who was happily – no, gleefully – carrying your illegitimate bastard child, she's no longer with us? Well, I'm sorry if I'm not sitting Shiva.

Olivia

[lecturing Fitz after watching him practice for the New Hampshire debate] People want to like who they're voting for. People thought Al Gore was a big stiff until he stuck his tongue down Tipper's throat. They put George W. in office because he and Laura seemed like a fun couple to have a beer with. People have to want to invite you in for dinner. Right now, you and your wife are standing in their doorway, three feet apart, not looking at each other, letting in the cold air. That's why you lost Iowa. It's why you'll lose New Hampshire.

And you are?

Olivia

Olivia. Pope.

Cyrus

Let's be clear about something. I run a sausage factory.

Which makes me… sausage?

Cyrus

Handsome, highly qualified, smart, idealistic, and energetic sausage. The stump, the electrifying speeches, the baby kissing... That's all you. The nitty-gritty, morally bankrupt, back-alley-brawling rest of the game... that's me. It's filthy and thankless, and it's my hallelujah, heroin, and reason to breathe. And you, you don't have half the stomach for it, so you go and you make nice with Olivia Pope. Get her back, or you can find another sausage maker.