[Ashi walks into Da Samurai's bar, and all thugs stare at her]
Hey, ma'am, close the damn door! You're lettin' all the heat out!
[Ashi is surprised and hesitant, but then walks into the bar and closes the door behind her; she starts to walk up to Da Samurai]
What you want here, leaf girl?!
[whispering] I'm looking for Samurai Jack.
Huh? What you say?
I'm looking for Samurai Jack.
What's that? Damn it, girl, speak up!
[shouting loudly] I'M LOOKING FOR SAMURAI JACK!
[all the thugs swarm around Ashi]
You're looking for the Samurai?!
[he and all the thugs laugh]
Little girl, Samurai Jack is the toughest S.O.B. out there. The last time we fought he did [removes his helmet to reveal a spaghetti-wired head with googly eyes and gnarled teeth mouth and speaks in a light voice] this to me!
[covered in band aids] Ha! That's nothing! Check me out! These things are literally holding me together! [one of the Warriors or Bounty Hunters remove one of his band aids, causing his left arm to fall off] Dude, really?
[yelling loudly] I USED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, BUT NOW I GO IN A BAG!
He busted me eye!
[Ashi stares in surprise, but turns to Da Samurai as he speaks up]
Man, these robotic cats got nothin' on me! 'Cause back in the the day, I was a bad-ass sa-mu-rai! I was Da Samurai! I was ALL about that slicin' and dicin'!
[it shows a montage of Da Samurai when he was younger]
Talkin' 'bout the Funk-A-Chop! The Whack-A-Hack! And of course the world famous...Turkey Carve! [it shows a montage of younger Da Samurai doing his "famous" moves. After all that, as it shows an image of Jack, Da Samurai now speaks heartwarmingly] But Samurai Jack enlightened me to the true meanings of being a samurai. Shortly after, I gave up my blade and top knot and became the bartender here at the place where we first met.
Um... that doesn't sound bad at all.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT NO SOUL, YOU ROBOT FOOL!
I... have...RETURNED!
[everyone turns around to see Demongo the Soul Collector]
I, Demongo, have come to collect the souls of the greatest warriors!
[pause as everyone stares at him]
But I see I have come to the wrong place. [leaves]
[whistles] We got some straight-up freaks comin' through this place.
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