Craig Charles quotes from Robot Wars

Craig Charles

"That was such a crazy fight I just defecated myself, liquid brown is going down my legs as we speak this is absolute mayhem"

Craig Charles

Now, in my day, there were three things a fella needed to shave: a razor, some shaving foam, and enough loo roll to bandage the whole of the wounded at the Somme. But nowadays, it's all performance toiletries. Like, for all I know, a jet propelled tooth brush and a 200 wipes per minute toilet roll - sounds nasty. But there is one bit of progress I am bang up to date with, and that's robots. And here, our robotic innovations are gonna do battle for a place in our series semi-finals.

Craig Charles

I’ve tried lots of therapies in my time. I went to see a child psychologist once, but he was terrible - well, he was only seven. He said to me: "What’s the first thing you think of when I say the word "mother"?"; and I said “Me mother”! So he suggested I go to the Samaritans instead, but I thought a Samaritan was one of those oranges you only get at Christmas. And then he suggested colonic irrigation, but what do I know about farming?! But I’ve finally found a therapy that really is right up my alley: it’s called Robot Wars. And right now, another eight angry patients are waiting to air their grievances in the arena! Look out, doctor - they may need sedating! Phillipa, who's in the waiting room?

Craig Charles

[about Hypno-Disc, after it completely decimates Robogeddon in its first battle] I wouldn't wanna find that in my laundry basket, never mind Sir Killalot.

Craig Charles

Well, you can grovel and beg, when you're down on all fours. But we'll show no mercy, on Robot Wars. Bye-bye.

Craig Charles

You were actually my favorite robot to win this. I had my money on you guys.

Well, you lost again!