The "Channel 6 News Masquerade Ball" is the opportunity for me to kidnap April O'Neil. She's the perfect bait to catch the turtles. [surprised to see April's costume] Wow! Out of that bulky lesbian jumpsuit, she's hot as [bleep]!
Care to dance, Mr. Potter?
WHAT?! [cuts to Shredder dancing with April] And, what's your costume?
Belle from "Beauty and The Beast", but a dick-slut.
Is your favorite restaurant, Taco "Belle"?
[Both laugh]
You are hilarious.
On the count of 3, say your favorite band. 1, 2, 3!
Toad the Wet Sprocket! [pause, they both kiss]
[feels the blade, and gasped] Wait. Are you-
In love? Yes. WHAT?! Bye! [leaves]
[realizing] Shredder?
[Cut to Shredder with April outside her apartment after the party]
Think of something poetic, Oroku. [to April] But soft, you are total boner food!
Oh, Shredder. My heart doesn't take sides.
People won't approve.
No one can keep us apart.
[They both kiss again. Then cuts to the sewer]
Aww, Hell to the No! [punches a brick wall with a grunt]
We're soul mates! We both love Toad the Wet Sprocket.
Toad the-What?! Is that a sex thing?! Have you guys had sex?!
No. Just dry humping, and ball play.
Ball play?! [punches the same brick wall with a grunt]
You must stay away from Shredder, April. He is dangerous. Sleep here tonight. Donatello, grab the guest pillows.
[Donatello grabs pizza boxes which are the guest pillows, and puts them on the couch. Later while everyone's asleep, Shredder comes up from behind the couch to see April]
[gasps] What are you doing here?
I came to say "Hi", [lays down next to her] and also have sex after the whole "Hi" thing.
It's like Six Flags Hurricane Harbor in my panties right now. [they both kiss again. Later, we see her and Shredder outside the manhole] Mmm, Mmm. You really Toadied my Wet Sprocket. When will I see you again?
Soon, I hope. I should go before the turtles wake up. Plus, I have some major ExtenZe farts coming on. [farts]
[Next morning while April was having her breakfast]
April, just go on one date with Casey. He's a good guy.
Casey is a jobless loser in sweats! [walks away]
Good start to my morning.
[Cut to April with the Rat King]
So, I left. What should I do, Mr. Rat King? I belong with Shredder.
I have an idea! And my idea involves you taking a lot of poison very quickly.
[pause, interested] Go on?
[Cut to April playing dead]
[shocked] It can't be! April?! NO!!!! WHY?!?! [accidentally hits April with his spikes]
[wakes up in pain] Ow! Ow! Ow! What the [bleep]?! Shredder!
[surprised] April! You're alive!
The poison only made me appear dead. Didn't you read "Romeo and Juliet", you [bleep]ing ass clown? [gags and dies]
NOOOOOOO!!!!!! [a few seconds of silence] Just gonna take my Toad the Wet Sprocket bootleg back. [takes his CD back, and leaves]
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