[We start with Alistair Cooke from "Masterpiece Theater" explaining about J.R.R. Tolkien to the audience]
When "Lord of the Rings" author, J.R.R. Tolkien, passed on, many thought Middle Earth had come to an end. But recently, researchers found a half-finished manuscript, a sequel to "Lord of the Rings". When, on direct orders from Tolkien's will, his 6-year old grandson, J.R.R. Tolkien Jr., Jr., finished the novel, and the movie was made, fans hoped Middle Earth would rise again! Now here, we present a never before seen sneak peek of "Lord of the Rings: The Final Journey".
[The title briefly shows on screen; the preview starts in Hobbiton with Merry and Pippin]
Aw, Merry, I miss Mr. Frodo already.
Me too, Pippin. Frodo was a dear, dear friend. I like to eat poop. Hey, look, it's Gandalf!
[rides up to the Hobbits on Shadowfax] Merry, Pippin, we are not safe! A dark menace rises to the east! Duckies go "Quack!" [a rubber duck jumps on the bottom left side of the screen for a second] Cows go "Mooooooo!" [a small cow appears on the center right side of the screen for a second] I want ice cream! [a small pig appears on the center left side of the screen for a second, and then he takes out two ice cream cones] Verily, will you hobbits join in my quest?
Yes, Mr. Gandalf!
What about you, Hannah Montana?
[singing to electronic music] I like macaroni and cheese!
I want poop! [we slide to a card that says: And..., and then to a bunch of fighter aircrafts with the characters inside] These F-16s will take us as far as the Erendor river, then we'll have to find the bridge of Larakaei.
Quickly! Everyone make jet noises with your mouth!
[Everybody starts to imitate the sounds of jets with their mouths]
Moooooooooo! [we slide to another card that says: And now..., and then to the group inside a volcano and fighting a monster that resembles a peanut butter and jelly sandwich] The three-headed peanut butter and jelly monster is too powerful! And I like to eat poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop...
I don't want to do my homework.
[Record scratch]
Let's all sing "The Muffin Man"!
[singing] Oh, do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man? Do you know the muffin man...?
[Then a bunch of random creatures from the previous seasons suddenly appear, and many cartoon noises are heard]
You shall not...poop, poop, poop, poop, poop...
[We cut back to Cooke]
[shocked and confused] I'm sorry; what the f-?!
[The screen goes to standby mode, and the channel flips to the next sketch]
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