Look! We finally made it!
The Legendary Pyraminxes! They must be full of treasures!
[A hostile sentient puzzle snake appears]
Oh no! Penis puzzle! You better keep your mouth off it, Reynaldo.
It's a snake, you jackass.
[Lisa pulls out a scrambled Rubik]
Rubik the Amazing Cube can help us/annoy us with his cutesy 80's cartoon voice!
[Carlos snatches the cube and begins to solve the puzzle himself]
Give me that! Boys have better spatial reasoning than girls.
I'd be angry at that sexist comment if it wasn't a proven scientific fact backed up by years of academic research.
[Carlos solves Rubik]
Aaaannnd, done!
[Rubik comes to life]
Rubik, here to help!
[The kids plug their ears]
Ugh! That voice is like getting anal-sexed in the ear canal.
But first, Rubik been dying to ask... Why did you turn Rubik back into lifeless puzzle last time?
Um, we had to get you through customs.
That was three days ago! Do you know where Rubik's spirit goes when you jumble Rubik's colors?! A DARK COLD NEVERLAND OF HOPELESSNESS!
[The snake puzzle is seen chasing Reynaldo in the distance]
Dammit, Rubik! What do you want, an apology blowjob?! DO SOMETHING!
Rubik, here to help!
[Rubik proceeds to fire lasers at the snake puzzle, but it dodges every laser, then shapes itself into a ball and bowls over the camels the kids were riding. It then transforms into a dog shape]
Oh no! No! NO! NO! [The snake puzzle mounts Reynaldo and begins aggressively humping him] AAAUUUGHHH! MY ANUS!!
Do it Rubik! End his pain!
Rubik, here to help! [Rubik fires a laser at both Reynaldo and the snake puzzle, but the snake puzzle dodges at the last second, with the laser vaporizing Reynaldo into dust.]
OH, REYNALDO!
He's in a better place. A place without is-thay unt-licker-cay.
LOOK OUT!
WOAH!
[The snake puzzle becomes a rectangular wall and towers over Lisa]
I don't know which way to run! I HAVE NO SPATIAL REASONING!
[The snake puzzle topples over and crushes Lisa to death, then transforms back into a snake]
Rubik, here to help!
[Rubik continues to fire lasers at the snake puzzle, accidentally shooting and vaporizing Carlos' eyes]
AAAGGHH! MY SEEING PARTS!
[The snake puzzle flees, bumping into Rubik and scrambling his colors; the blinded Carlos reaches around to find Rubik, eventually finding him]
Rubik? Rubik? Oh, there you are! I'll bring you back Rubik! Friendless nerd kids solve you blindfolded all the time. I've seen it on YouTube when I get bored of skateboard accidents.
[Carlos attempts to solve the Rubik's Cube to bring Rubik back; we cut to a slide where we see Carlos' skull and the unsolved Rubik's Cube lying in the sand, while the accompanying text reads: "CARLOS NEVER SOLVED THE RUBIK'S CUBE".]
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