[The sketch opens with the title card Gift of the Maji written in gold letters appearing on a green background. We then see Della Dillingham Young in a store]
I'd like to buy a chain for my husband's watch.
Seventy-five dollars.
Oh, my! I can't afford that. Unless... [cut to her at a barbershop and taking a seat in the chair] I'd like to sell my hair, please.
[The female barber pulls out an electric razor and starts shaving Della's hair. Cut to James Dillingham Young at another store]
I'd like to buy some brushes for my wife's beautiful hair, please.
Seventy-five dollars.
For brushes? What the [bleep]? What are they, solid gold? My watch is 75 bucks and it is a [bleep]ing antique! [a short pause; cut to him at home; Della, who is now bald, enters] What the [bleep] happened to you?
I wanted to buy you a chain for your watch, so, I sold my hair to do it!
Holy [bleep]! You look like you have cancer! Couldn't you have just let me keep my beautiful wife for Christmas?
You don't like it?
Well here's where the irony kicks in. I wanted to get you hairbrushes for Christmas, but the man said I'd have to sell my watch to afford them!
Oh, no! You sold your watch?
[Bleep], no! What, am I crazy?! For brushes?! I think the cat brush is just as [bleep]ing good and that thing was a buck-fifty!
So, you didn't get me brushes?
What, did they shave your ears too?! I said no, already!
Oh... [chuckles] Then what did you get me?
[gives Della a set of lingerie] Lingerie! Now, go pop that sucker on! [puts a Santa hat on Della's bald head] This too!
[drops the lingerie] Yeaahhh...I'm gonna go stay with my mom for a while.
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