[at the church] My children! I was once lost, like you, wretched, like you; wandering in the wilderness. But it was there, in the desert, crawling on my hands and knees like a dried crab, that I was guided [snaps his fingers] to a cave.
[A white-robed boy brings over an ornate box]
And it was in that cave... [opens box and takes the "hand of St. Luke" - actually an executed thief's hand - out] that I found this - the hand of the divine physician, St. Luke!
[He holds the hand high and parades it in front of the awe-struck crowd]
It was this hand that healed me! Healed me of my pain, guided me on the path to salvation, cleansed me of all my sins! [kisses the hand, pretending to sob] And it was this holy artefact that Robin Hood and his gang of men tried so fragrantly to steal - not once, but TWICE! That is why Robin Hood and his gang attacked the brothers of Kirklees! That is why Hood sent in his thug Tuck to break into the abbey! AND THAT IS WHY ROBIN HOOD MUST BURN AT THE STAKE!!!
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