[Mr. Poopybutthole turns off the TV playing the show credits.]
Woo-wee. Evil Morty. That was quite a scheme. Makes me wonder if there’s an evil me out there. But I guess sometimes I look at my life, and I may not even need him. 'Cause... well, guess I made a pretty big mess of things myself. Ooh-wee.
[He gets out of his chair and walks to the stove.]
Never got my job at the university back. Remember that? Rick made me do karate. It was kinda funny, but I guess things went downhill from there.
[He picks up a ramen package off the counter and opens it.]
Started isolating myself from Amy. Used to tell her everything I was feeling.
[He dumps the noodles into the pot on the stove.]
But then I guess I stopped.
[He picks up a photo of Amy.]
'Cause I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming.
[He puts the photo of Amy back down.]
Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper into our lies every day, [he walks back over to the stove] ultimately only hurting the people brave enough to love us.
[He pours the seasoning packet into the pot, then throws the empty packet on the floor.]
Wish I didn’t do that.
[He reaches into the sink and pulls out a fork. He turns off the stove and starts stirring the ramen.]
Wish I was brave enough to love them back. I don’t know. Maybe you should try it?
[He carries the pot over to his chair and leans against the armrest.]
We don’t have as much time as we think. Ooh-wee.
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