Alright, just stay calm, OK? I'm pretty sure like 90 percent of gunshot wounds are psychological. Here's the good news: the body's actually designed for this sort of thing!
Uh, no it's not.
I'm just saying, it's important for him to keep moving, you know? Maybe walk it off. This isn't serious. This isn't like having appendicitis!
We're taking him to surgery.
OK, great! That's great! Where do I stand? Do I need to wash up? My hands are crazy clean. Look! I had one of those Dorrito tacos from Taco Bell about an hour--What are you telling me? I stay here? OK, good call! I'll man--I'll man the hallway. YOU GOTTA SAVE 'IM, THAT'S MY DAD!
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