[At Santa's Toyland, boys and girls from all over the world sing as Santa plays his organ.]
Servo [as Santa]: [singing] Ho, ho, ho, ho, staying alive, staying alive...
. . .
[Over Spain]
Mike, Crow, Servo: [singing along] I love him, I love him, and where he goes, I'll follow...
. . .
[Over China]
Servo: [singing] We are forced to sing...
Crow: Hey, could we move on to a country with some rhythm?
. . .
Narrator: Boys and girls from England.
Crow: ...have rotten teeth.
Servo [as Santa]: Feel it! Get down with your bad Santa self!
. . .
Narrator: Japan also helps Santa.
Mike [as Narrator]: By investing in his toy corporation, they now own Santa lock, stock, and barrel.
. . .
Narrator: Talented children from the Orient.
Crow: ...are not here today.
Mike: Um, uh, you're dancing on my keyboard.
Servo [as Santa]: [singing] Get it on in the morning now!
. . .
Narrator: Even Russia has a delegation.
Crow: Currently under surveillance by the CIA.
Mike [as Narrator]: Santa makes them work 16 hours a day for $2 an hour.
. . .
Narrator: The group from France.
Servo: ...stinks to high heaven!
. . .
[Over Germany]
Crow [as General Burkhalter]: Klink, you are a terrible singer!
Mike [as Col. Klink]: You're absolutely right! I am a terrible singer!
Crow [as General Burkhalter]: How would you like to sing at the Russian front?
Mike [as Col. Klink]: Well, my father was a very famous conductor...
Crow [as General Burkhalter]: Shut up!
Mike: I just wanna know one thing: When are Donny and Marie coming through the door?
. . .
Narrator: Here's a happy song from Italy.
Servo: [sings random Italian gibberish]
Crow: So is this neorealism?
Servo [as Don Corleone]: Okay, we're gonna whack Santa. He's trying to muscle in on the Easter Bunny's turf.
Mike: Okay, great. You've offended everyone now.
. . .
Narrator: The islands of the Caribbean.
Mike: ...have nothing to do with this movie.
Servo [as a Jamaican]: Legalize it, mon!
Mike: [singing] Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights...
Servo [as Ed McMahon]: Next up in the junior vocalist category: Thailand!
. . .
Narrator: The South American group includes Brazil and Argentina.
Mike: And a few other countries not worth mentioning right now.
Crow: Ho! Santa's doing the forbidden dance!
. . .
Narrator: The countries of Central America.
Mike: ...are a threat to Santa's vital security interests.
Servo: Hey, those are the same kids from the other countries! They'll be playing the Egyptians next.
. . .
Crow: Hooray!
Mike: Yay! USA! Woo!
Narrator: The children of the USA.
Crow: ...are too spoiled and lazy to help Santa. There, that makes it better.
. . .
Narrator: A neighborly group of children from Mexico.
Crow: ...are over-accessorized.
Servo [as Santa]: [singing] Ho, ho, ho, ho, staying alive, staying alive...
. . .
[Over Spain]
Mike, Crow, Servo: [singing along] I love him, I love him, and where he goes, I'll follow...
. . .
[Over China]
Servo: [singing] We are forced to sing...
Crow: Hey, could we move on to a country with some rhythm?
. . .
Narrator: Boys and girls from England.
Crow: ...have rotten teeth.
Servo [as Santa]: Feel it! Get down with your bad Santa self!
. . .
Narrator: Japan also helps Santa.
Mike [as Narrator]: By investing in his toy corporation, they now own Santa lock, stock, and barrel.
. . .
Narrator: Talented children from the Orient.
Crow: ...are not here today.
Mike: Um, uh, you're dancing on my keyboard.
Servo [as Santa]: [singing] Get it on in the morning now!
. . .
Narrator: Even Russia has a delegation.
Crow: Currently under surveillance by the CIA.
Mike [as Narrator]: Santa makes them work 16 hours a day for $2 an hour.
. . .
Narrator: The group from France.
Servo: ...stinks to high heaven!
. . .
[Over Germany]
Crow [as General Burkhalter]: Klink, you are a terrible singer!
Mike [as Col. Klink]: You're absolutely right! I am a terrible singer!
Crow [as General Burkhalter]: How would you like to sing at the Russian front?
Mike [as Col. Klink]: Well, my father was a very famous conductor...
Crow [as General Burkhalter]: Shut up!
Mike: I just wanna know one thing: When are Donny and Marie coming through the door?
. . .
Narrator: Here's a happy song from Italy.
Servo: [sings random Italian gibberish]
Crow: So is this neorealism?
Servo [as Don Corleone]: Okay, we're gonna whack Santa. He's trying to muscle in on the Easter Bunny's turf.
Mike: Okay, great. You've offended everyone now.
. . .
Narrator: The islands of the Caribbean.
Mike: ...have nothing to do with this movie.
Servo [as a Jamaican]: Legalize it, mon!
Mike: [singing] Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights...
Servo [as Ed McMahon]: Next up in the junior vocalist category: Thailand!
. . .
Narrator: The South American group includes Brazil and Argentina.
Mike: And a few other countries not worth mentioning right now.
Crow: Ho! Santa's doing the forbidden dance!
. . .
Narrator: The countries of Central America.
Mike: ...are a threat to Santa's vital security interests.
Servo: Hey, those are the same kids from the other countries! They'll be playing the Egyptians next.
. . .
Crow: Hooray!
Mike: Yay! USA! Woo!
Narrator: The children of the USA.
Crow: ...are too spoiled and lazy to help Santa. There, that makes it better.
. . .
Narrator: A neighborly group of children from Mexico.
Crow: ...are over-accessorized.
[At Santa's Toyland, boys and girls from all over the world sing as Santa plays his organ.]
Servo [as Santa] : [singing] Ho, ho, ho, ho, staying alive, staying alive...
. . .
[Over Spain]
Mike, Crow, Servo : [singing along] I love him, I love him, and where he goes, I'll follow...
. . .
[Over China]
Servo : [singing] We are forced to sing...
Crow : Hey, could we move on to a country with some rhythm?
. . .
Narrator : Boys and girls from England.
Crow : ...have rotten teeth.
Servo [as Santa] : Feel it! Get down with your bad Santa self!
. . .
Narrator : Japan also helps Santa.
Mike [as Narrator] : By investing in his toy corporation, they now own Santa lock, stock, and barrel.
. . .
Narrator : Talented children from the Orient.
Crow : ...are not here today.
Mike : Um, uh, you're dancing on my keyboard.
Servo [as Santa] : [singing] Get it on in the morning now!
. . .
Narrator : Even Russia has a delegation.
Crow : Currently under surveillance by the CIA.
Mike [as Narrator] : Santa makes them work 16 hours a day for $2 an hour.
. . .
Narrator : The group from France.
Servo : ...stinks to high heaven!
. . .
[Over Germany]
Crow [as General Burkhalter] : Klink, you are a terrible singer!
Mike [as Col. Klink] : You're absolutely right! I am a terrible singer!
Crow [as General Burkhalter] : How would you like to sing at the Russian front?
Mike [as Col. Klink] : Well, my father was a very famous conductor...
Crow [as General Burkhalter] : Shut up!
Mike : I just wanna know one thing: When are Donny and Marie coming through the door?
. . .
Narrator : Here's a happy song from Italy.
Servo : [sings random Italian gibberish]
Crow : So is this neorealism?
Servo [as Don Corleone] : Okay, we're gonna whack Santa. He's trying to muscle in on the Easter Bunny's turf.
Mike : Okay, great. You've offended everyone now.
. . .
Narrator : The islands of the Caribbean.
Mike : ...have nothing to do with this movie.
Servo [as a Jamaican] : Legalize it, mon!
Mike : [singing] Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights...
Servo [as Ed McMahon] : Next up in the junior vocalist category: Thailand!
. . .
Narrator : The South American group includes Brazil and Argentina.
Mike : And a few other countries not worth mentioning right now.
Crow : Ho! Santa's doing the forbidden dance!
. . .
Narrator : The countries of Central America.
Mike : ...are a threat to Santa's vital security interests.
Servo : Hey, those are the same kids from the other countries! They'll be playing the Egyptians next.
. . .
Crow : Hooray!
Mike : Yay! USA! Woo!
Narrator : The children of the USA.
Crow : ...are too spoiled and lazy to help Santa. There, that makes it better.
. . .
Narrator : A neighborly group of children from Mexico.
Crow : ...are over-accessorized.
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/mystery-science-theater-3000/quote_30210.html
