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S5

Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 5

Mike [as Cortner], Crow [as Cortner] and others in “The Brain That Wouldn't Die”

[In search of a replacement body for Jan's head, Dr. Bill Cortner examines cardboard cutouts of buxom strippers at a club.]

MAMike [as Cortner]

Well, she can't have a cardboard body. I've ruled that out.

CACrow [as Cortner]

[pervertedly] Saaay, this could actually be an upgrade...

SAServo [as Cortner]

Well, it's nice and all, but I want something sleazy.

[Inside the strip club (which looks suspiciously like a greasy spoon), a dancer slithers to a porny saxophone tune.]

Mike

If Jack Ruby owned a Denny's.

. . .

SAServo [as Maître d']

Welcome to the Diane Arbus Cafe.

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Bill's Father“I should've known he was as good as...” Bill“You have the keys to your car?” Mike“Hey, that was my prom theme!” Servo [as Jan]“D-Don't forget my purse! Honey?”

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