[Joel is pinning a new suit together using Crow as a mannequin. Servo's head has been replaced with a pincushion. Joel accidentally pricks Crow.]
Crow: Ow!
Joel: Oh, I'm sorry, pal. I'm just so distracted. I can't stop thinking about that sweet service station in today's film. Did you guys notice how sleek and beautiful it was?
Servo: [patronizingly] Um, no, Joel, I can't say that I did, heh-heh [aside to Crow] Koo-koo! Koo-koo!
Joel: I'm serious, you guys! There was a time that we as a nation took pride in our service stations! They gleamed like a beacon of hope from coast to coast. Then one day: kablooey! Sky Chief super service turned into the Tank 'n' Tummy. I don't mind tellin' ya, the day this country went self-serve is the day that Hell started to bubble over and flood the earth.
Crow: I hate to burst your bubble, Joel, but what about the bubonic plague? World Wars? Stalin?
Joel: Well, those are all big things. Hell works best when it's a lot subtler. Let me give you an example: Okay, what do you think of Adolf Hitler?
Crow: Well, I hate him, naturally.
Joel: Okay, now what do you think of the band Styx?
Crow: Well, they had a couple of decent... [realization sets in] Oh, my God, you're right!
Servo: I get it now, Joel! You know, I don't know exactly when Hell started for me, but I think it had something to do with Christopher Cross.
Joel: Yeah, and remember the time Charlie Weaver died, and it wasn't even in the papers?
Crow: Or when they 86'd Jarts!
Servo: I think the first time Flo said "Kiss my grits!", something in all of us withered and died!
Crow: Using Joe Camel to sell cigarettes to kids seems like a pretty ripe slice of Hell.
Joel: Yeah, I agree with that. And how about the time Denis Leary released No Cure For Cancer as an album, or when Vicki Lawrence won a Grammy for "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia"?
Servo: I know I stand alone on this, but the day Blansky's Beauties got cancelled.
Crow: Yeah, you pretty much stand alone on that. Sinbad's pretty icky.
Joel: Yeah, and how about the Charlene Tilton workout video?
Servo: Joel! How can we possibly survive in a world that keeps giving us constant images of Hell?
Joel: Well, there's personal liberty, strength of convictions; those have been known to work. And there are the times when we rise as one to beat back Hell. Like the time when we as a nation said "No!" to Yahoo Serious.
Crow: I remember that. There we were, inexplicably drawn to the slobbering mouth of Hell. Then, at the last moment, saved just like Moses and the Israelites.
Servo: Now who in Creation is powerful enough to do that?!
Crow [as Goliath]: Gee, Davey, do ya think it was God?
Crow: Ow!
Joel: Oh, I'm sorry, pal. I'm just so distracted. I can't stop thinking about that sweet service station in today's film. Did you guys notice how sleek and beautiful it was?
Servo: [patronizingly] Um, no, Joel, I can't say that I did, heh-heh [aside to Crow] Koo-koo! Koo-koo!
Joel: I'm serious, you guys! There was a time that we as a nation took pride in our service stations! They gleamed like a beacon of hope from coast to coast. Then one day: kablooey! Sky Chief super service turned into the Tank 'n' Tummy. I don't mind tellin' ya, the day this country went self-serve is the day that Hell started to bubble over and flood the earth.
Crow: I hate to burst your bubble, Joel, but what about the bubonic plague? World Wars? Stalin?
Joel: Well, those are all big things. Hell works best when it's a lot subtler. Let me give you an example: Okay, what do you think of Adolf Hitler?
Crow: Well, I hate him, naturally.
Joel: Okay, now what do you think of the band Styx?
Crow: Well, they had a couple of decent... [realization sets in] Oh, my God, you're right!
Servo: I get it now, Joel! You know, I don't know exactly when Hell started for me, but I think it had something to do with Christopher Cross.
Joel: Yeah, and remember the time Charlie Weaver died, and it wasn't even in the papers?
Crow: Or when they 86'd Jarts!
Servo: I think the first time Flo said "Kiss my grits!", something in all of us withered and died!
Crow: Using Joe Camel to sell cigarettes to kids seems like a pretty ripe slice of Hell.
Joel: Yeah, I agree with that. And how about the time Denis Leary released No Cure For Cancer as an album, or when Vicki Lawrence won a Grammy for "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia"?
Servo: I know I stand alone on this, but the day Blansky's Beauties got cancelled.
Crow: Yeah, you pretty much stand alone on that. Sinbad's pretty icky.
Joel: Yeah, and how about the Charlene Tilton workout video?
Servo: Joel! How can we possibly survive in a world that keeps giving us constant images of Hell?
Joel: Well, there's personal liberty, strength of convictions; those have been known to work. And there are the times when we rise as one to beat back Hell. Like the time when we as a nation said "No!" to Yahoo Serious.
Crow: I remember that. There we were, inexplicably drawn to the slobbering mouth of Hell. Then, at the last moment, saved just like Moses and the Israelites.
Servo: Now who in Creation is powerful enough to do that?!
Crow [as Goliath]: Gee, Davey, do ya think it was God?
[Joel is pinning a new suit together using Crow as a mannequin. Servo's head has been replaced with a pincushion. Joel accidentally pricks Crow.]
Crow : Ow!
Joel : Oh, I'm sorry, pal. I'm just so distracted. I can't stop thinking about that sweet service station in today's film. Did you guys notice how sleek and beautiful it was?
Servo : [patronizingly] Um, no, Joel, I can't say that I did, heh-heh [aside to Crow] Koo-koo! Koo-koo!
Joel : I'm serious, you guys! There was a time that we as a nation took pride in our service stations! They gleamed like a beacon of hope from coast to coast. Then one day: kablooey! Sky Chief super service turned into the Tank 'n' Tummy. I don't mind tellin' ya, the day this country went self-serve is the day that Hell started to bubble over and flood the earth.
Crow : I hate to burst your bubble, Joel, but what about the bubonic plague? World Wars? Stalin?
Joel : Well, those are all big things. Hell works best when it's a lot subtler. Let me give you an example: Okay, what do you think of Adolf Hitler?
Crow : Well, I hate him, naturally.
Joel : Okay, now what do you think of the band Styx?
Crow : Well, they had a couple of decent... [realization sets in] Oh, my God, you're right!
Servo : I get it now, Joel! You know, I don't know exactly when Hell started for me, but I think it had something to do with Christopher Cross.
Joel : Yeah, and remember the time Charlie Weaver died, and it wasn't even in the papers?
Crow : Or when they 86'd Jarts!
Servo : I think the first time Flo said "Kiss my grits!", something in all of us withered and died!
Crow : Using Joe Camel to sell cigarettes to kids seems like a pretty ripe slice of Hell.
Joel : Yeah, I agree with that. And how about the time Denis Leary released No Cure For Cancer as an album, or when Vicki Lawrence won a Grammy for "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia"?
Servo : I know I stand alone on this, but the day Blansky's Beauties got cancelled.
Crow : Yeah, you pretty much stand alone on that. Sinbad's pretty icky.
Joel : Yeah, and how about the Charlene Tilton workout video?
Servo : Joel! How can we possibly survive in a world that keeps giving us constant images of Hell?
Joel : Well, there's personal liberty, strength of convictions; those have been known to work. And there are the times when we rise as one to beat back Hell. Like the time when we as a nation said "No!" to Yahoo Serious.
Crow : I remember that. There we were, inexplicably drawn to the slobbering mouth of Hell. Then, at the last moment, saved just like Moses and the Israelites.
Servo : Now who in Creation is powerful enough to do that?!
Crow [as Goliath] : Gee, Davey, do ya think it was God?
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/mystery-science-theater-3000/quote_30035.html
