My So-Called Life · Season 1
What kind of girl is Shakespeare describing here? Is she the most beautiful girl?
No.
Is she a goddess? Physically perfect? The kind of girl who stops traffic when she walks down the street?
[laughs] No.
So he's not in love with her?
Yeah. He is.
Why is that? Why is he in love with her? What is it? What is it about her?
She's not just a fantasy. She's got, like, flaws. She's real.
[voiceover] I couldn't stop thinking about it -- the like, fact of it. That people had sex. That they just had it. That sex was this thing people had. Like a rash, or a Rottweiler. Everything started to seem, like, pornographic or something. Like, Miss Krzyzanowski had sex. So does Mr. Katimski. They both have sex. They could have sex together, like right now. I am, like, the sickest person.
[to Angela, about sex] It's accepted! It's what you're supposed to do! Unless you're like...abnormal?
My parents have a vibrator. It sounds like a lawnmower.
[voiceover] Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.
[voiceover] People always say how you should be yourself. Like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster or something. Like you know what it is, even. But every so often, I'll have, like, a moment when just being myself, and my life, like, right where I am, is, like, enough.
Rayanne, you've been sober for over a month! It's time you get a support system in place.
I already have a support system!
Really? Who?
Well, Rickie. Angela.
This, this Angela? Isn't she the one you said you feel distant from these past few weeks?
Well, she got herself a guy, but it's nothing to worry about.
[pulls out lollypop]
Lolly?
I can take care of myself, okay?! So just leave me alone!
What's wrong? I thought she gave up drinking?
She's drunk.
You don't have to go to school today.
No, I want to. Poor Rickie probably had, like, 40 heart attacks.
I just need to know that you have a support system in place.
I don't need a support system. I got friends.
That's exactly why I'm raising this. I mean, didn't you mention to me that you've had some feelings of distance from your friends since, you know... the incident?
What incident?
I'm talking about the night you nearly died, the night that Angela's mother rushed you to the hospital. Now didn't you tell me that since that night you've felt some distance between yourself and your friend Angela?
I never said 'distance.' I just don't see her that much. It's not 'cause a some incident, it's, it's 'cause she's got this guy that she's, like, involved with. Which she wouldn't even have if it wasn't for me.
And you don't feel any awkwardness around Angela?
No. The thing with Angela is that even with this stupid obsession with this guy, she's, like, totally there for me.
Why is that, though, do you suppose? I mean, why is it so taboo? Why, why is it that, that you can't speak to people honestly about their children?
Because-- I'm gonna kill you. Oh, Patty, it's like twelve-fifteen already.
I know, I know, I know. Okay, I'm gonna stop obsessing about this, starting now. 'Night.
'Night. Because. [Graham turns on the light] Because nobody wants to hear something like that. Nobody wants to hear they may have made a mistake with their kids. Nobody wants to be accused of not being a decent parent. I mean, it-it is, it is an unwritten law, whatever goes on in your family is your business, period. Nobody else's.
Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep here. Do you really believe that? I mean, you really believe that it would be that much of an intrusion to casually and non-confrontationally mention to someone that you happen to be a little concerned about their child?
Uh, okay, okay. How would you respond to something like that? You know, some friendly, well-meaning comment like that?
Poison dart. Ohhh.
There's this thing tonight at this coffeehouse, Vertigo, and I-I promised Rayanne I would ask if I could go, but I-I don't even really want to go, and I feel so guilty. See she's, she's singing, um, with this, this band that-- all right, fine, it's Jordan Catalano's band, but this has nothing to do with Jordan, or the fact that we broke up or, or anything, that's what's so weird, it's something between Rayanne and me...I-I can't even describe, but it's there, and it's been there for, like, a while, since that night w when you had to drive her to the hospital. It's this thing that we never talk about. [She picks up a pile of clean laundry] So these are mine? Thanks, I was kinda low on clean socks. [She hugs Patty] Thanks for listening. [leaves]
[Patty stands, stunned]
It's okay. She'll ignore you for another month just to make up for it.
I know.
Just so you know, I, uh, I didn't drink yhat whiskey. I poured it back. You can ask Angela.
You haven't had one drink? Since that night in the hospital?
No. Swear to God.
Why didn't you tell me that you had stopped seeing your counselor?
I don't know. Maybe just 'cause I wanted you to think I was okay, so you wouldn't mind if I, you know, stayed friends with Angela.
I guess she means a lot to you, huh?
I guess that's, like, the one thing you and I have in common.
[Rayanne gets out of the car]
Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Chase.
Rayanne?
Yo.
Apparently you and I are in the same karass. Call me Patty.
[Rayanne leaves, then comes back]
Patty, thanks. For, like...for my life.
[coming out on the fire escape] Hi. I've never been out here before. So Rickie was really scared. I mean, I was, too. [silence from Rayanne] So, what, you're mad at me? Because I didn't get to hear you sing?
You didn't miss much, just me making a fool out of myself, and you've seen that plenty. Right? Anyway, I knew you wouldn't show. I can't stand these looks anymore.
What looks?
You and Rickie looking at me like I'm gonna lose control, like any minute I'm gonna go on some jag or something. I just can't stand knowing what you're thinking about me.
What? What am I thinking?
I'm messed up. That I'm too messed up for you to be my friend anymore.
Rayanne, that's not true. I never-- I'm still your friend. Nothing's changed. [voiceover] But that wasn't completely true either. And we both, like, knew it.
Boy, people get swept up in this Christmas thing, huh?
You mean you don't?
Yeah, but my mom and I like to wait... for stuff to go on sale.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's My So-Called Life pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
