Murder, She Wrote quotes

Henderson Wheatley: What kind of a jerkwater town is this?

Jessica Fletcher: A town that knows how to take care of itself, Mr. Wheatley.

Del Scott: [after Jessica accuses her of committing the murder] For years, I tried to nail him, to gather evidence to get him sent to prison. But every time, every time I got close, he bribed the eyewitnesses and suppliers. He bought them off. I finally realized that I couldn't fight him legally and win. I'm not proud of what I did, Mrs. Fletcher, but don't ask me to be sorry.

Agt. Fred Keller: A man must be pretty special to have people willing to stand up before an agent of the United States Department of Justice and each one willing to risk charges of perjury, obstruction of justice and harboring a fugitive. Not many men have friends like that.

Lt. Antonelli: Mrs. Fletcher, let me be frank. Your kind of writing is not my kind of reading.

Jessica Fletcher: Well, Lieutenant, let me be even franker. Anyone who is capable of imagining that my niece can commit murder is being grossly overpaid for taking up valuable space in this office.

Beryl Hayward: Jessica, I am so looking forward to hearing your commencement address.

Jessica Fletcher: Well, I'm still rewriting. Books are easy compared to speeches.

Daphne Clover: I hear Picasso is really hot.

Jessica Fletcher: Well, his pictures may be hot, but I hear that Picasso is dead.

Oliver Trumbull: A bloke never gets in trouble chasing women. It's after they're caught the trouble begins.

Emma McGill: Television can't compare with the sort of live entertainment that we provide.

Bridget O'Hara: Well, you're right about that. But nothing goes on forever. Even ol' Queen Victoria found that out, she did.

Oliver Trumbull: [after Jessica exposes the murderer] Emma never harmed you.

Kitty Trumbull: But she was destroying you, Dad. Or couldn't you see it? You were so magnificent with a God-given gift that you prostituted to become a second-rate music hall comic. You couldn't break away. Every year, you got weaker and more dependent while I stood there and watched. You couldn't help yourself, Dad. But I could. Don't you see? I had to kill her for you.

Francesca Lodge: Jess, I don't know what they've told you, but I'm just a little bit tired. You know, nerves.

Cheryl Lodge: Mom, it wasn't just nerves last night. You called the sheriff.

Francesca Lodge: I thought I was alone. I heard noises. I guess I overreacted.

Jessica Fletcher: That's enough to frighten anyone. Believe me, I'm an expert on the subject. In my books, of course.

Sheriff Amos Tupper: This is going to look real good to the grand jury. The prosecution's star witness trying to prove that the accused is innocent of the crime that she saw him commit!

Burton Hollis: [after Jessica exposes him as the murderer] Howard's father cheated mine out of the family company. He accused him of embezzling funds. The scandal was too much, and Father died of a stroke. Then Howard's father died, and he inherited everything. He sold that company for a fortune. Half of that should have been mine! It wasn't fair!

Jessica Fletcher: And what you did to Carolyn Crane, was that fair?

Burton Hollis: I had nothing against Carolyn. I was fond of her. But she had to die. Surely, you can understand. To inherit, I had to eliminate them both.

Vicky Gallegos: [after Jessica exposes her as the murderer] When Carlos was still riding in Panama, he got into some trouble and had to have some money. So he agreed to bump another horse during a race. Only something went wrong, and the other horse went down, and the other jockey got badly hurt; he almost died.

Carlos Gallegos: That's when I met Jack Bowen. I changed my name. I come to this country to ride for him. And then, when he came up with these horses, these ringers, what could I do? He threatened to send me back to Panama.

Jessica Fletcher: And you drugged Carlos so that he would have a legitimate excuse not to ride.

Vicky Gallegos: I put chloral hydrate in his coffee. Only Bowen wouldn't believe that Carlos was really sick. And so he threatened to get even by turning him over to Immigration. Well, what could I do? I couldn't let that happen.

Jessica Fletcher: And later you planted the drug in Tracy's locker.

Vicky Gallegos: Mrs. Fletcher, I love Tracy. But I had to protect my husband.

Jessica Fletcher: I particularly liked the way the gas station bandit was caught, having the getaway car shift into reverse by mistake and crash into the police car. Now, that showed a great deal of imagination.

Nicole Tug: Not exactly. That's the way it happened. Hey, I didn't know it had a stick shift, or I wouldn't have stole it!

Sheriff Harry Pierce: [after Jessica exposes him as the murderer] Let me tell ya somethin' about Beverly. She was stupid and greedy. I did all the work. I torched the building. I found the buyers! I even greased the way for the zoning variance! She paid me all right, but what she didn't tell me was that she'd recorded our conversations. She tried to bleed me out of my cut. A lot wasn't enough for her. She wanted it all. Sorry about Elvira. I always liked her. Just as I've always liked you, Jessica.