Mr. Show quotes

217 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  



College friend watching underground video (Brian Posehn): No shit!

Commercial "viewer" (David): Thousands? Clock?

Commercial voice (unknown): Sponsored by Smithy's Barrows. Makers of barrows for over 200 harvests. Now with wheels.

Craig/Jeepers Creepers (David/Jack Black): I was on the eighteenth hole!!!

Criminy Craffft (David): Eatin' an orange? That was like takin' a trip through a citrus mountain.

Cyrus ______ (David): Frame it, bury it, walk 20 paces away, dig it up in 15 years and teach the world to sing!

Cyrus ______ (David): Who dares question Ryan Dorn?!

Dad of "gay" son (John Ennis): You gay bastard!!! No gay son of mine isn't not-gay, you better get gay or I'll make you gay!!!

David (as "himself"): You know, Jill's ingested so much soil, her stomach oughta be listed in the "Worm Apartment Guide"!

David: Bob missed his first day of school, and he never really caught up, so he thinks there are only 5 states...and that one of them is named Chim-Cham.

David: Bob's in there fuckin' shit up old-school, and I got kicked OUTTA school!

David: Dear Globochem, someone is trying to kill me!!! Please send me as many free products as possible. Love, David Cross.

David: False teeth speak false truths, Bob!

David: Hey, Bob? Um, I was wondering...um, so...do you still like to party?

David: Hey, fancy pants, you weren't in this one.