[narrating] It's been fifty five years since I slept in a bed, felt the softness and warmth of pillows and blankets. Do I miss sleeping in an industrial freezer? Would you?
“Fated to Pretend” · Season 1, Episode 13
In this episode: Mick St. John (9), Beth Turner (5), Josef Kostan (2)
At the funeral, you were wearing his ring.
Yes. Yes, I was, but I realized that even if he had proposed to me, I wouldn't have been able to say "Yes".
Why not?
There's someone else.
[Beth and Mick went to Maureen's house to see if they could find her USB drive]
Breaking and entering was much more fun when you were a vampire. It's a shame you can't still do that sexy vampire jumping thing.
Yeah, well, the jumping was kind of tied with the whole bloodsucking thing.
We gotta narrow down the hiding places.
It's all about psychology, all right? People hide things in the last place they think anyone else is gonna look.
Tampons!
Excuse me?
I always hide my nice jewelry in a box of tampons.
Yeah, ok. I'll admit that's the last place I would look.
[After finding the USB drive Beth goes to see Mick]
Uh, if my jewelry goes missing, I'll know who took it.
[Sounds surprised] You gotta be kidding.
[Mick goes to see Logan so he can take the password protection from the USB drive]
LLogan
[Playing guitar] Just in time for my solo, man!
Is that all you do?
LLogan
No, Tuesdays and Thursdays I rule "World of Warcraft".
Did you know my editor was investigating your involvement in a bogus charity scheme?
Nice to see you, Beth, me I'm doin' great, thanks. Except for the drywall dust. It gets everywhere.
Beth's editor was killed a few hours ago.
I'm sorry. So. Am I a suspect? [they nod] Cool! It's like roleplaying, but without the leather.
Your name came up in connection with a story Maureen was working on.
Was her body found in the La Brea Tar Pits?
No.
That was the only person I killed this week.
Josef, this is serious.
No, this is stupid. Look I'm on the board of dozens of charities. I had no idea that this one was bogus until Maureen told me.
Ok, we'll talk to your PR man.
Remember the Tar Pits?
BBonnie
Living everyday with a secret that you wanna tell someone.
Listen to me. Secrets are like a disease, and if we don't share them, they will eat us up on the inside, until there's nothing left, until it feels that we are already dead.
BBonnie
You do have a secret, don't you?
Yeah, I do. And it ate me up until I finally told somebody.
[Mick is at home, pulling vampire-hunting weapons from hidden cubbies behind his books.]
[Appears behind Mick and startles him] What are you doing?
Don't do that!
What? Use my crafty vampire abilities to sneak up on you?
Why are you here?
Guillermo called me. Said you were about to do something extremely stupid. I said, "Wait, that can't be the Mick that I know.”
You should come, you love a challenge.
No, see, I'm a lover, not a fighter. No, besides, I'd just get dead trying to protect you; the human liability.
I can take care of myself.
[snarls, attacks, pinning Mick against the wall] Is this how you're gonna fight them? This is how you want it to end!?!
Get off me! Get off me! [Josef suddenly focuses on Mick's throat, leaning closer, before tearing himself away]
Well, I hope I've made my point.
Yeah, you did.
What?
You were right. I can't save Beth as a human. But I can save her as a vampire. You have to turn me back.
Whoa, uh-uh. You hold on. This is not-
You have to turn me back, right now.
Mick, you’re human again. After all you went through to get the cure, you're gonna give it up this easy?
You think this is easy for me? This is not easy, okay? I don't have a choice.
What you're asking me to do-
Listen to me, all right? He has Beth. He has my Beth. So please. Please, brother.
Mick, forgive me. [Mick nods and offers his neck. Josef bites him, drains him, and lays him gently on the table. Then takes off his own jacket, bites his own wrist, then holds it in the air, above Mick’s mouth and squeezes out drops of blood that land on Mick’s lips. Mick then starts to lick the blood off his lips.] Come on, Mick. Rise and shine. [Mick’s head raises to Josef’s wrist, which he takes hold of and drinks. Mick then rests his head back on the table and releases Josef’s wrist, then all his wounds start to heal, he sits up slowly, and roars]
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