That was Episode Two of "The Death of Mary Queen of Scots", adapted for the radio by Bernard Hollowood and Brian London. And now, Radio Four will explode. [interval music plays until the radio suddenly combusts]
We'll have to watch the telly then.
Yes.
Well, what's on the television then?
Looks like a penguin.
No, no, no, no! I didn't mean 'what's on the television set?' I meant 'what program?'
Oh.
Funny that penguin being there, innit? What's it doing there?
Standing.
I can see that!
If it lays an egg, it'll fall down the back of the television set.
We'll have to watch that. Unless it's a male.
Ooh, I hadn't thought of that.
Yes. Looks fairly butch.
Perhaps it comes from next door.
Penguins don't come from next door; they come from the Antarctic!
BURMA!
Why'd you say 'Burma'?
I panicked.
Perhaps it's from the zoo.
Which zoo?
How should I know which zoo? I'm not Dr. Bloody Bronowski!
How does Dr. Bronowski know which zoo it came from?
He knows everything.
Ooh, I wouldn't like that. It'd take the mystery out of life. Anyway, if it came from the zoo, it'd have 'Property of the Zoo' stamped on it.
No it wouldn't. They don't stamp animals 'Property of the Zoo'! You couldn't stamp a huge lion!
They stamp them when they're small.
What happens when they moult?
Lions don't moult!
No, but penguins do. There! I've run rings around you, logically.
Oh, intercourse the penguin!
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