[explaining his fear of cutting hair to his customer] When I was a kid I used to hate the sight of hair being cut. My mother said I was a fool. She said the only way to cure it was to become a barber. So I spent five ghastly years at the Hairdressers' Training Centre at Totnes. Can you imagine what it's like; cutting the same hair for five years?! I didn't want to be a barber anyway. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Yes, a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as I float down the shores of British Columbia! The larch, the giant redwood! The smell of fresh-cut timber, the crash of mighty trees, with my best girl by my side, we'd sing, sing, sing! [singing]
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
[singing]
He's a lumberjack and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
[singing]
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I'll go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea.
[singing]
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays, he goes shopping, and has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
[singing]
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers.
I put own womens' clothing, and hang around in bars.
[singing]
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wildflowers.
He puts on womens' clothing, and hangs around [starts to show signs of disgust] in bars?
[Perk back up]
He's a lumberjack, and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day.
[singing]
I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra.
[His girlfriend starts to cry]
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Mama!
[singing] He cuts down trees, he wears - high heels, suspenders and a bra? [choir storms out in revulsion]
[singing] I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Mama!
[crying] Oh, Bevis. And I thought you were so rugged! [runs off crying]
More Monty Python's Flying Circus quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monty Python's Flying Circus pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.