Adrian Monk: Walk me through it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's pretty routine till we get to the punch line. Modine and his date are walking to their car over here. The, uh, perp is over here. Now, the perp pops out with a knife. Modine pulls out his piece, .38 caliber... [off Monk's look] I already called, he's licensed. Bang, bang, bang. Three in the chest.
Adrian Monk: So, I just have one question: What am I doing here?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Here comes the punch line: Our perp is Sidney Teal.
Sharona Fleming: The computer guy?
Adrian Monk: Get out of town!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Take a look. [lifts up the canvas covering the late Sidney Teal] That's what $5 billion looks like.
Adrian Monk: Get-out-of-town! What in God's name was he doing? [Stottlemeyer puts Teal's false mustache in an evidence bag]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think maybe, that this is how he got his kicks. I mean, that kind of money can make a person crazy.
Adrian Monk: Yeah. I wouldn't know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, right. Anyway, that's my theory. If you've got a better one, I'd really like to hear it.
Adrian Monk: Well--
Sharona Fleming: No. No. Captain, we can't start working until we talk about our fee!
Adrian Monk: Sharona, could you give me a second here? [Sharona walks away] You know, this is insane.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, it's crazy. It gets crazier. Check this out. [He uncovers Teal's leg] This guy's wearin' knee pads.
Adrian Monk: Knee pads?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, and he's got elbow pads.
Adrian Monk: Was he planning on going rollerblading after?

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