Dee Dee Dee!
If you don't believe that God has a sense of humor, tomorrow go to Walmart and just LOOK AT PEOPLE!
(on Easter) By the way, what do eggs have to do with Jesus Christ?
(pulling on the fat on his chin) That's Chunky Monkey ice cream!!!
(from Carlosaurus Rex) Whether you're black or white, Uzbeki or Jew...you're probably an asshole too.
When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.
If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
'Achmed' - Why don't you check the women?
I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!
Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay. (ése)
I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!
Here's how it works: Mexican people are called beaners, okay? I said it! That's right, I said it! I am a funny motherf***er!
When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.
When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless. When black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.
Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, f***ing Aquaman?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mind of Mencia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.