Peg: Aw, honey. I know what would make you feel better. But I'll never leave you, not in a million years. So, Al, what's the family plan for Christmas this year?
Bud: Five bowls a-flushing?
Peg: Four 'roids a-throbbing?
Kelly: Three nose hairs waving?
Bud: Two children starving?
Peg: One untouched wife.

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