Men, hide your women, women, hide your heinies! For I'll bring you the unique musical styling of Rubio the Cruel! Rubettes?
[three identically dressed pirates line up behind him]
[singing] For I'll be true to the song I sing, and live and die - ha-ha! - a pirate king! For I am a pirate king, and it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a pirate king! Whoo, I am a pirate king...!
[dissolve to Rubio singing from the bridge]
[singing] I am the very model of a modern major general, I've information vegetable, animal and mineral...
[shot of the pirates and Paco's men all committing suicide, by hanging themselves, stabbing themselves, or just jumping into the ocean; dissolve to Rubio's last number]
[singing] Ding-ding-ding went the bell, zing-zing-zing went my heartstrings...
Now we all know why he's called Rubio the Cruel!
More from this episode
More Married... with Children quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
