[voice-over narration] The usual problem in Los Angeles on a lazy Saturday is... what to do. Surfing in the Pacific. Skiing in the mountains. Maybe, head to the beach and watch the girls roll in. Not exactly. I was celebrating, if that's the word, the anniversary of a friendship. I'd met Pete Thornton seven years ago today. So, I'd been running around all morning long following the anniversary instructions Pete had sent me. He asked me to locate a bar magnifying glass and bring it to him at Adler's Wrecking Yard at eight o'clock, sharp. Pete always could come up with something a little off-center. Now, where to find him.
S2 E18Partners
I operate on a need-to-know basis. [Sighs] I guess you need to know.
I hope it's not too uncomfortable for you back there, gentlemen.
Don't worry. We'll live.
I seriously doubt that, Thornton.
JDJack Dalton
MacGyver, this is me, this is Jack, this is your buddy. Give it to me straight. You know how important my cab is to me; it's my future. You scratched it, didn't you?
Well, no - not exactly.
JDJack Dalton
Okay, a dent; you put a dent in it.
Listen, Jack -
[interrupted]
JDJack Dalton
I can live with a dent. Tell me it's a dent.
It's a little more than a dent. Mr. Thornton and I were riding in your cab chasing this woman, who was actually a man who had a guy with a bazooka waiting and he blew up your cab.
JDJack Dalton
Hold it. Run that back. Run that by me again.
Um, Mr. Thorton and I were riding in your cab and we're chasing this woman...
JDJack Dalton
No, no, no - just the last part.
Two guys with bazookas blew up your cab.
JDJack Dalton
They blew up my cab with a bazooka?
Two bazookas. But I can explain.
JDJack Dalton
Bazookas... you can explain bazookas? YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN BAZOOKAS!
[yelling, lunging out of his hospital bed for MacGyver]
Listen, MacGyver. Anybody who can use a paper clip, a pair of shoelaces, and a rusty monkey wrench to take out two bazookas could be very useful in taking Murdoc. Help me.
You are a do-gooder, MacGyver. Ninety percent of the people in the world are smart: they see trouble coming, and they duck and run. Ten percent are like you. Can't resist cleaning up the mess.
Probably a low-power charge, specially designed. It's only going to destroy the bed.
(sitting on the bed) What about the guy on it?
Yeah, that, too.
Do you remember what Mark Twain once said? "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
S2 E19Bushmaster
KKelly
My mom died right after I was born.
Any brothers or sisters?
KKelly
No. I guess I'm his daughter and his son.
Which one of you is here to rescue him?
[Handing over a gun to MacGyver] Here. Just for insurance.
Pete, you know how I feel about those things.
Yeah, I do, but you're defenseless out here.
No, just weaponless.
Egg whites are good for a lot of things. Lemon meringue pie, angel food cake, and... plugging up radiators.
S2 E20Friends
For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up... and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape.
S2 E21D.O.A.: MacGyver
[voice-over narration] Most people come to Southern California for the sunshine. But, there are others who burn easily so they stay in the shadows. Anthony Braddock was one of them. Tony Braddock was a professional chemist. He'd worked himself out of a career with British Intelligence and into building bombs for anyone who'd pay him. Maybe he wasn't the kind of guy you'd want your kids to grow up to be, but one of his bombs got me out of prison in Morocco. So when he called early on a quiet Sunday afternoon and said he was in trouble, I had to make good on my IOU.
(to Carol) Your phone is dead.
(Jules suddenly appears)
JJules
And so are you.
CVCarol Varnay
Memories are okay to have, as long as they don't get in the way of dreams.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's MacGyver pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.